Watchful Eyes
by Julia-Cullen-Frost
Summary: The Twilight Saga with another character. Julia Frost, an 81 year old vampire who had though she was in love with Edward. He had saved her after all. But once Bella comes she is forced to see Edward differently and try to fall in love with her true love.
1. Preface

_Preface_

How dare he.

A low hiss came out of my mouth, to low for Bella to hear.

His head shot up to look at where the hiss was from, but something behind me caught his attention and froze him solid. A deep growl cut from behind me, right behind me, and the breath sent my hair around like the wind.

Laurent fled and four large wolves flowed him.

Werewolves.

I took a deep breath and slowly rotated my body so I was facing the other way. The largest wolf, or second largest, stood staring down at me with deep brown eyes.

I put my hands up and open my eyes all the way so he could take in their color.

"I'm not a leech, as you would put it. I'm friends of the Cullen's. Kill the fool, if you don't, I will, but I'd rather not if you don't mind. The treaty doesn't apply to me, so you are still welcomed here. Looks like I'll need all the help I can get protecting this one." I nodded back to Bella, not turning away from him.

He shot at me.


	2. Chapter 1 : Complications

_Complications_

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm sorry. For everything._

_I know that I left you alone when you needed someone around, but I know you've seen Alice's vision. Something is coming…Someone is coming. She'll replace me and you'll realize, I'm not the one you think I am. Right now that's what I want. You need, you must realize…_

_I'm not the one._

_She'll do the things that I couldn't and still can't._

_Once again, I'm sorry. I love you, but with a different light._

_You'll understand soon. Hopefully._

_I miss you._

_too much_

I cradled my head in my hands. I had no idea what I was talking about. The thoughts in my head were too jumbled and mixed with everyone else's thoughts that comprehension was practically unattainable.

My hands twisted around the paper and threw it into the trash can. I'd spent too much time here in Maine. I wasn't in Waterville, not even close, but all the feelings and memories were returning. Edward's differences that made him shine from the rest. How he saved me from my parents, from death. He helped me from a situation I believed I'd never be able to get out of.

He made me happy.

I smiled to myself, lost in thought then sighed. My fingers clenched my hair and a scream escaped my lips. Venom sealed my eyes but did not escape. I needed to go back. I was unhappy and being alone wasn't helping at all. Neither was being in Maine where my life ended and began.

But right now, I knew that wasn't possible. She was coming. Bella was coming and she would replace me in Edward's life, in the Cullen coven. She was better for them. She would make them happy again and I couldn't fight with that. I wouldn't fight with it. I wanted Edward to be happy, even if it was without me there.

Slowly my hand reached for the phone. Just one call. Just one conversation. That's all I needed. My hand snapped back. That wasn't what Edward needed. Edward didn't need me right now. He'd gotten on fine without me. Of course, he was upset to begin with. I'd been Edward's comfort. Aside from Carlisle, I'd known Edward the longest. I'd come when life was hard for Edward, when he was second guessing himself. But after about a month, things began to get better. He started playing baseball and taking trips with the family. Sadly, he wasn't fully happy. Maybe that was because I wasn't there. No. I had to stop doing that. Just because I wanted Edward, no, I didn't want Edward. I might need him, but not want or crave.

Do I love him? Was that even a question? Of course I loved him, it was impossible not to, but what kind of love. And how sure was I that he loved me in that way? How could I even think he love me that way when Alice's vision was so clear. He was going to love someone else and she was going to be changed to better fill his needs.

My body moved from the desk and grabbed the key to the room. Maine wasn't helping. I went to the lobby and returned the key. The women at the front desk smiled and nodded, then thought of calling the cops to report a run away. I smiled to her and left. Waterville was only a few quick miles to me from here. A visit to the grave then to a new spot. Outside snow covered the ground and coldness was set to a deathly setting. The children outside were playing, building snowmen, laughing as they threw poorly made snowballs at one another. I tucked my hands into my coat pockets and set off.

My grave hadn't changed from the last time I'd been here. A part of me wanted change. I needed to know time was still moving and hadn't frozen solid from my coldness. I wanted to run, but my feet didn't want to move. My body didn't want anything to do with me, it had its mind on someone else. I need to slap myself. I wasn't going to force myself in to his life.

_Julia, I do need you._

I turned quickly and became face to face with Edward.

"What are you doing here?" came out with no warning or thought.

"You act like you didn't want to see me." he smiled as he stepped forward some.

"No, I have wanted to, I do, I'm glad you here." I sighed.

"You didn't hear me coming?"

"No…are you worried or upset?" I questioned as I turned back around to look at the grave stone.

"Yes. Terrified actually. I think this human is going to be hard to work with. I don't think…I know I'm not going to be strong enough." he sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone Julia."

"I know that Edward. You know your going to change her."

"No. I'm not, I refuse to allow that." he demanded.

"You are going to try and prove Alice wrong?" I chuckled at the thought. "You really are getting stupid." I turned to him. "Why don't you think you'll be strong enough? You never hurt me, ever. Granted I only knew you for what, a week?"

"Yes, but you never fell in love with me."

I laughed at the statement. The irony was too bitter. "Well Edward, I suppose you'll have to work on that. It will help you pass the time."

"Haha very funny, but please be serious."

I made a face. "This serious enough?" I grunted.

He smirked. "Do you think I'll hurt her?"

"I think, you might, but you won't mean too. You'll never mean to, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. No man ever means to hurt a woman…especially not one he loves." I looked up and smiled at him.

"Does that go for women too?" he questioned me.

I thought about that. "No, women mean there words almost all the time. Why?"

"Just wondering." he looked up.

"Let's walk." I encourage. There was no reason for us to be talking in a graveyard, especially not in front of my grave.

"So what are you extremely worried about Edward?"

"In thoughts of?"

"The girl."

"I'm afraid of her scent. It was easy for me with you. You cant fall in love with something you don't lust for. But she'll be different. I wont be able to control myself."

"I think you will be able." as hard as it was to say it, I did. He would, some how, be able to control himself around her. She couldn't smell that good. No ever smelt good enough for Edward to fall in love with. But who was to say that this time wouldn't be the one time.

It would be.

"I think I need to go." I sighed to him.

"You aren't going to return with me? You know Alice is dying to shop with you. Em wants to spar. Jasper wants to be calm like he always is when you're around. Esme wants to redecorate, she refuses to change any house until you come back. Carlisle needs a new apprentice. I'll need your help."

"I know. But it will be better. Right now, I need to find my place."

"Your place, is with us."

"Soon my place will be taken." I smiled. "Tell everyone I miss them."

"They'll be mad I didn't bring you."

"They'll get over it. Everyone always gets over it."

That was it. After not seeing each other in so long, we only talked about being able to control himself for her sake. Life was going to get difficult, but that was for the best. It had to be.

* * *

So, as you can see I'm still alive  
and I've deleted ... all the chapters I had up.  
They might ome back but they might not.  
The truth is I didnt like the chapters, they werent the way I pictured the story of going.  
I know its been ALONG time but I've had horrid writers block and I've been trying to help it by writing poems and such.  
Thankfully my friend took me on a trip and I think I might be cured ... hopefully the disease wont come back.  
So, yeah, I dont think I skipped anything.


	3. Chapter 2 : Hung Up

_Hung Up_

Today was the day. She would see him in biology and they would fall madly in love with each other just like in a fairytale. I laughed to myself. Love wouldn't come today. Today would be hard for Edward but he could cope.

I jumped down from the tree and pinned the deer I was hunting with my body. He struggled under my lethal grasp. While my teeth were about to sink in, I saw her. Edward's mind went crazy after that. I jerked back and the deer limped forward as fast as it could.

Edward's mind was a mess. He wanted her and her scent was sinking into my mind. She smelt delicious and Edward was on the boarder line. He couldn't give in. He couldn't kill her. His conscience couldn't handle that.

My feet flew underneath of me. In my head, I kept repeating that words.

Be strong.

If I could get into his hearing range, it would help. Any help could prevent what he wanted to do. Edward was thinking so much. A side I never knew was coming out. He actually wanted to hurt her. He wanted to suck every drop of blood from her body at all cost. He was even willing to kill everyone in the classroom to do it.

Be strong.

He kept telling himself to calm down. She couldn't be that great. But she was, not only in her scent. I saw the way she looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He was a mystery to her and that made her crave him. Even though he was giving her the death glare of a century and lusting for her blood, she wanted him.

Edward started to think of other ways to kill her, to get around from hurting everyone else. He was thinking of how the rest of the Cullen's would take it. He hopefully, ultimately, would understand how much more trouble it would cause for the family. More then just falling in love with her and risking her life by keeping her human.

Be Strong.

He was. Gripping the table, and barely inhaling, but the thoughts were still moving. He was arguing with the little Edwards in his head. One was being calm, and rational. Knowing killing her would ruin everything his family, and he had worked for. He liked Forks, he knew he didn't want to mess it up.

But the other side. The other side, was dangerous, and violent. And more than anything just wanted to taste the blood so visibly running through her veins. More than anything, thought that it would be worth it. Just a little bit longer, while he fought off the side that wanted to kill her so badly, he _was _being strong.

I thought to myself, she had to be worth it. But why did it hit him so hard? Edward knew she was coming. He was ready for her, why did he crave her so much?

Once the class was over, I called him. I didn't make it in time to help him what so ever but he didn't hurt her. He fled to his car and drowned himself with the cold Forks air.

I was surprised when he answered.

"Julia help me." he begged like he was begging for his life. But he was begging for her.

"Edward. What's wrong? Her scent isn't that bad."

"You don't understand. You've never smelt blood before. She's unlike anything I've ever smelt. Its indescribable. I need to taste her. I need to kill her." he began to get louder, his words more jumbled.

"No. You don't. Edward."

"You don't understand." he cut me off. "It's not like you Julia!" he began to shout. "I never craved for you. But she, she must have the most delicious blood, and it would be so easy!"

"Edward, you aren't acting like yourself. Take deep breaths. Just remember, everything will be okay in the end."

"I'm going to leave."

"What's the point in leaving if you're just going to come back?" I question.

...he lost it. After a minute of hearing him yelling at me I started to ignore him. Then, I hung up. He didn't call back and neither did I.

He ended up leaving…and then he came back.

That day he talked to her. Tested his ability to stay around her and not react to her scent even though he would always crave it, always feel a lust for her blood. But what was more, he got to know her. And even though he didn't know it quite yet…he loved her, and he stopped thinking of me.


	4. Chapter 3 : Outside Looking In

__

Outside Looking In

I sat alone in a white room, facing the wall on a wooden chair. I was wearing a purple strapless dress and 4 inch purple lace up heals and the diamond heart necklace Edward had given me long ago. I'd done a photo shoot today to get some easy cash and I didn't plan on changing out of these cloths for awhile. My hair curled around my round face and my silver-gold eyes (gotten from bird blood and deer blood) shown in the bitter moon light coming from the side window.

As I shut my eyes, everything came vividly into view, not as if I needed to close my eyes. Everything Edward had done to this point had gone through my thoughts. I saw everything, from everyone's point of view. As of yesterday, Edward was now Bella's hero, saving her from an oncoming car that had slid on black ice. He'd done something unthinkable, changing fate. He'd done that already, with me, but it seemed wrong when he did it with her. It seemed unfair though I knew it wasn't. Everyone besides Jasper and Rosalie had a horrible problem with it and they were looking for revenge.

Jasper's point was understandable. He wasn't going to let anything come between him and Alice's life together. People knowing the Cullen's were vampires would be very bad on their end, and as well as everyone's end which brought us to Rose. She couldn't stand Edward for saving her, but she also couldn't stand knowing that Edward preferred a human over her un-humanlike beauty. She wasn't alone on that aspect. They both wanted to go kill Bella to get over the horrible mess and of course, Edward wouldn't allow that. The rest of the family didn't mind and after a little talk from Alice, Jasper calmed down some as well. But Edward was going to have a problem with Rose. She never backed down easily and he knew that.

Since I knew that I'd have to watch everything closely that went on from now on, with money in the Cullen family account, I'd bought a small house in Washington, Massachusetts. It was quite cute, and quite small and quiet. The white room brought piece and the white wall which sat straight in front of me worked as a projectors screen. This way, I didn't have to have my eyes closed the whole time, I could project my thoughts and a vision played out in front of me like a movie. But this movie seemed more like a television drama.

Everything was so topsy-turvy. Nothing was the way it should be and it was Bella's fault. My head was kept repeating that, 'this is Bella's fault, that girl doesn't belong' but my heart was telling me totally different.

'Bella wouldn't have meant anything if you hadn't left.'

After that my head would say 'nothing would have been different. Edward would still love Bella.' Then my heart would take the blow because it knew that statement was true. It actually seemed as though Edward loved this human more then me and that hurt, deeply hurt. It hurt so much I wanted him and couldn't stand him at the same time. It was if as though he were saying he loved me, but then leaving me behind. But the truth was, any part of Edward that did love me was gone now.

But that couldn't be right. Edward and I had always shared a connection. Something that seemed blood related, but in our case venom related. But no one else in our family had the same connection as us, it was deeper then venom, it was ourselves in a whole. But now it seemed as though…Edward wasn't thinking of me at all. He hadn't for over a month and how far could I let it go on. And it wasn't only Edward who had stopped thinking about me.

It was everyone.

Except Alice. Every time Alice looked at cute clothes that she'd love to dress me up in, she thought of me and when she saw my future as well. She missed me. So did Emmett and Jasper, and Esme and Carlisle.

That got my hopes up. But it still hurt that Edward didn't care about me anymore. I suppose I should have just excepted it.

So I tried.

If he didn't love me, that was okay. My other part got the better of me.

The only problem is, I still loved him. I couldn't reject the thoughts that I wanted to because I really didn't want to. It wasn't fair. I'd know him longer than her, knew him more than she could possibly hope for, but he just didn't care. That didn't matter. And now, I was alone in a battle I'd already lost.

I couldn't understand, was how I'd let it go this far, on both ends.

I should have never left and this was all my fault. The phone in my pocket started to vibrate, making an annoying tune. Its vibration startled me and I fell of the chair and began laughing at myself. A vampire who could hear peoples thoughts scared by the most annoying sound something could make. I pressed the green button with out looking at the screen. I knew who this annoying tone belonged to.

"Hello Alice." I giggled into the phone.

"You're coming back?!" she cheered into the phone.

"No. I'm not you must have seen someone else's vision." I soiled her joy. She didn't deserve to be happy, she was going to replace me too.

"Edward just did the stupidest thing yesterday." she began to tell me.

"He save the girl from the van and disrupted fate making life harder for himself." I finished for her.

"Oh yeah, so can see thoughts. But anyways guess what!" she finished excited again.

"What Alice?" I groaned.

"She's going to be my best friend!" she replied happily into the phone.

"Great. So now you replacing me too?" I replied swallowing a dry lump in my throat.

"No! No ones replaced you Julia." she sounded appalled by my accusation.

"Edward has, and soon you will."

"Julia we all love you the same way we had before you and Edward left over a year ago. Even Rosalie misses you, a little bit." she added with a smile in her tone.

"No." I shook my head.

"Yessss." she sounded playfully.

"Look Alice I'm busy."

"You aren't busy." she caught my lie. "You are sitting in a white room, in Washington, Massachusetts, staring mindlessly at the wall, watching what is going on from someone else eyes."

"Okay Alice." I said angrily. "Then I just don't want to talk to you. I'm replacing you with this nice designer dress I have on and theses nice designer shoes."

"I'M HANGING UP BEFORE YOU HANG UP ON ME!" she shouted then the phone went dead.

I couldn't even talk to a friend right. I was loosing everything and it was my own fault.

I sighed and sat back on the chair and continued my movie. Looking through Edwards mind to get a quick flash back was easy enough. Once caught up, I saw what Edward was no planning to do.

He stood outside Bella's house, looking up into her window, finding the best way to creep in. My hand clenched to fist on my knees as he continued up the tree into her rust window, being careful not to make to much noise. He crept in slowly and shut the window behind him.

Smiling at his success, he started to move around. He took in her scent and looked to the things in her room making small connections and jotting down notes in his mind. When she moved some he shot around to see if she'd woken, but she hadn't. Not long after that she called his name perfectly and he was finally hooked. He'd never be able to leave Bella now.

I had no chances left.

* * *

Hello all. Okay I have a question that I reallllly need an answer to...Do vampires bathe?  
Okay thats my question also I'd like to know if theres anyway you all think I can improve my writing.  
Sorry for the delay in uploads, I've been busy ; /  
For all of those who are new to Julia and havent read her before story this is the link to my first fanfic. I'd love if you read and reviewed it.

http://www*fanfiction*.net*/s/4328729/1*/%3Cb%3EBreaking%3C_b%3E_*%3Cb%3EButterflies%3*C_b%3E

remove the *


	5. Chapter 4 : Watching

_Watching_

I'd been watching for so long, I couldn't remember the date. The only thing I was wondering, was if Edward could see me watching him. Did he know that I missed him more then anyone could understand. If he knew that my life was crumbling to pieces while his was just getting better.

I'd seen Edward sit with her at lunch. Watched as he watched her leave for blood typing then take her from the boy and to the nurse. She could smell blood and that surprised him, it was like a weird connection between the two.

I'd watched as Bella invited Edward to La Push (which I found quite funny) then saw as Edward watched from the sidelines as Bella walked around Port Angles creeping through peoples minds to make sure no harm came from her. When the harm did come, Edward drove fast to save her and when he did, she had questions. They went to dinner, and since he couldn't eat, he answered questions. He didn't answer them all, but he answer enough and on the way home, he answered more. She finally figured it out. He was a vampire, so was his family, and she didn't care. That was okay and now they were going to live happily ever after.

The next day Edward told her everything and the day after, Bella told him everything. That night Edward went to his piano, and started to mix together keys and Alice came to hum the melody. Edward hadn't played his piano since I'd left, he found no joy from it. But now, he didn't need me to play, he had her.

Then the day which Edward and Bella were planned to go to Seattle, Edward took her to the Meadow. Our Meadow. My whole heart had been broken. That was our spot, to go to together. He showed his skin and laid in the grass with her. If I didn't feel so horrible at the moment, I'd probably would have painted the beautiful picture. It looked like a dream. Right now I wanted a nightmare to occur. I wanted him to kill her, for her to not exist. I was so bitter and angry but had no real reason. I knew he was going to love her. I knew this was going to occur. I was the one that left.

I was the one that left.

He didn't leave me…I'd left him. Heartbroken and all. I'd left for a selfish reason but he never hated me for it. Even now, he didn't hate me, even though I hated him. I was wrong. You cant change who you love and they both loved each other. My eyes grasped on him in her room. She woke and they were now talking. He told her how long he'd been doing this insane thing and she didn't even care.

He'd done that with me first. He'd watch me as I slept and when I caught him he apologized. That day, so long ago, he'd left me to do a solo piece alone. But knew now that it wasn't his fault. The sun was out that day and I didn't know that he was a vampire then. He'd come to check on me, to make sure my parents hadn't done anything to me.

I snapped out of my day dream to find them kissing. Passion and fury hit me. My fist slammed into the wall in front of me and punched a hole clear through to the other side. His lust came out and he forced himself off of her. He really did love her.

I sighed. Now I'd ruin my screen. I got up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. A thin layer of dust covered the top half of my dress and with a quick tap it all came off. The mirror showed my black eyes with deep bruised circles underneath of them. My pale skin had turned practically translucent and if I hadn't looked fully dead before, no doubt in my mind, I did now.

I went to the next room and laid on the floor. Above me, a window cut into the ceiling showing the midnight stars covering the black sky. Right in the middle laid the moon which was full. The wolves were out tonight no doubt.

As days pasted, I continued to watch. Edward spent the night, every night, simply watching her sleep. It was calming to her for some odd reason.

Then Edward got it into his mind that he wanted to show Bella the house and let her meet the rest of the family. She found out about Carlisle, and Alice finally got to have her fun and gain her as a friend. Of course they all loved her except Rosalie. Esme loved her, just as much as she loved Edward which wasn't a surprise.

Bella found it extremely odd that the house held no coffins, nothing dark. She thought the house would be dark and cryptic. Silly Bella. The Cullen's never fit the normal vampire life and if they had I never would have left. He played for her and they had a merry time.

Sighing, I open my eyes and waited for the next day.

Thunder crash through my mind and Edward's. Alice vision clouded his mind while mine looked to see the storm which was right over head. Slowly, I went to the closet. Thunderstorms were always the worse now. I had no way to cover my storm or theirs.

Alice saw three distant figures and seemed to pay them no mind. That was their first mistakes. The next mistake, was taking Bella. Vampire Baseball was the last thing that girl needed to encounter. Knowing Rose, she might have hit it the wrong way.

As the game continued, Alice saw them more clearly. They were coming. Red eyes and all to a location where a human laid. It wasn't going to be pretty.

It wasn't.

Edward charged at the first look. James was his name, and right when he smelt her, millions of thoughts flew through his mind and Edward was paying enough attention to hear them all. The low hiss turned to a growl and now he was protecting his lamb. But James had other plans.

The one name Laurent cut in and took James along with Victoria away. Edward and Alice both knew it wasn't over. They were going to have to hide Bella, or she would die. The worse part of the situation was James was a hunter. A tracker. I was the Cullen's tracker…but I wasn't there. I didn't want to be there. Not now. Not when I'd been replaced in there un-beating hearts.

The split up as I laid cradled on the floor. I could only see frantic moving. Shutting out their thoughts I became peaceful. If I watched anymore, my hair would fall out from the roots.

He ended up saving her. Removing the venom that coursed through her veins from the vicious James. If he was going to change her, he'd have to do it himself, do it right. Her leg was broken and she was weak, but she was alive. He'd been her hero again, but this time, the problem was him. He tried to leave her, but couldn't, she couldn't be without him and he knew he could be without her.

They went to prom and some boy named Jacob, who I'd seen before cut in on there dance to warn Bella that her boyfriend wasn't safe. He didn't even know the half of it.

Bella tried to convince Edward to change her but he wouldn't. Not yet at least. The though of him refusing made me smile. Edward didn't even let me choose, he'd just made Carlisle change me. Then I turned bitter. My life wasn't as precious as her. Again my hand busted through the house, this time the floor.

I'd seen the summer and the beginning of the school year. Edward had worked his magic and they had the same classes together. What luck my vampire butt. When her birthday came around, she couldn't stand being older then him, and really didn't want to go to the 'surprise' birthday party Alice was throwing for her. But she did. For her sake. Another wrong choice.

Clumsy Bella obtained a paper cut. Jasper smelt and went to attack then the second mistake happened. Instead of simply holding off Jasper, Edward dodged for Bella, sending her flying into glass bowls filled with roses. Her arms and legs were jagged with pieces of glass and she watched, horrified and Jasper was hauled off.

Esme was left cleaning the blood up with bleach and Edward left to mop. Carlisle told Bella about Edward's past and I was happy Edward had the decency to tell me himself. Getting air, I could understand why Edward was so frustrated. He wanted Bella's blood just as much, possible more then Jasper. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't keep off natural instincts.

He made up his mind, he was going to leave Bella and before I knew it, I found myself in the dealership of Ferrari's and on the road to Forks.

To save Edward from leaving her.

From doing exactly what I'd done so long ago, but with no good reason too.

I wouldn't let him lose what he cared most about.

He wasn't going to make that mistake.

* * *

  
Probably alot of grammtical mistakes.  
AP Biology is taking my life away. *sad*


	6. Chapter 5 : Bella

_Bella_

I'd been running for so long I actually felt out of breath. When I ran into Ferrari store, I wrote a check for one. I couldn't run anymore. My stone legs felt like rubble. They gave me a fire red Ferrari after a quick background check. I knew it was because I looked so young. Though my license said otherwise. And I knew otherwise.

The car had a wonderful purr and a smooth ride. It was much better then running, and when it topped 175 mph faster as well.

The red car was practically invisible on the road, but it didn't matter. I knew the back roads perfectly. Plus I knew where Edward was heading, and how fast I needed to be to cut him off.

My phone sat in the cup holder. My hair sat in a wind blown tangle on my head. Small parts of my dress were ripped and my feet were bare.

I was a mess.

The phone began vibrating after a long bitter silence causing me to jump and swerved some from the road.

"Alice." my voice sounded hollow.

"Julia, it's not going to work. He wont change his mind."

My hands gripped the wheel tighter. The turn was coming up. The phone sounded off. The battery had died.

Both off my feet slammed to the break and the car skidded, slowing quickly and stopped only a few inches from Edwards body. He looked at me like a deer in the headlights until he got his bearing straight and I could only look back him, just as frightened.

A few moments passed and my hand gripped the door handle, popping open the door and my small body climbed out. Without me paying attention, the door slammed back in place from my force.

"Julia." Edward nodded to me, his voice sounded like someone had died. He had. He was dieing without Bella.

"Do you even know how hard it was to find you? I had to try and hear you, but I couldn't. I tried Carlisle, Esme. I was forced to look into Alice's visions to see you." my body advanced forward, Edward did not retreat, he wasn't afraid of me.

"Are you still mad at her?" his sad voice seeped down and left a bitter taste in my head.

"No. I think I'm more upset at you." my hands seemed to shake at my sides. "What are you doing?" I asked, now whining and looking into his eyes, trying to get a connection to see what he was thinking.

"I'm leaving her." he voice said lowly.

"No kidding!" I seemed to shout. "Why are you? There's no reason."

"Julia, there are plenty of reason's. I'm too dangerous for her, all I seem to do-"

"Is cause trouble! How about you stop moping Edward. You aren't helping anyone. She's not going to be happy without you and you wont be happy without her. The whole family will suffer for your stupid decision." I cut him off and went into my counter argument.

"Like you did?" he retorted.

"What I did was totally different. You had a replacement for me. You also don't seem to have loved me. In fact I know you didn't. You never really cared like you do for her. I realized that when you didn't change her. You changed me without me even knowing what you were. You wouldn't let me die, you wouldn't give me what I really wanted because I was your "friend," your comfort. But she comes around, and offers you eternal love and you turn her down. Why? Why don't you want to change her?!" I took deep breaths to calm myself.

"Because of you." he stopped looking at the ground and looked me eye to eye.

"Don't even blame this on me Edward." I brought my hand up to point at him but he pushed it down.

"Julia, when you changed. When I changed you, you hated me. You looked me in the eyes and asked me "Why?" I wouldn't know what to do if Bella did that." he looked back down in pitty.

"You would go after her Edward. Unlike what you did for me. You'd run and calm her down and don't even act like you wouldn't. Do you want to know why you'd do that? Because…You love her! You have an unnatural bond, like two chemicals that complete each other, like the moon complements the sun, like the clouds fill the sky and the butterflies go with the flowers. Don't try to say you are leaving because of me. I'll see through your lies. You are afraid…it's okay."

"Not when someone you love is a human and you are the polar opposite. When one touch could end their life." he looked back up at me.

In that instant I could see what Edward was planning to do if something when wrong.

"No. Please don't go there. No matter what." I begged, now looking at the ground. Edward knew I would go to Volterra, not even to save him from suicide.

"I'm not promising anything. Don't go to her Julia. I'll find out. Go to Alice. Fix things with her. Good bye." then he left.

I just stood there. Unaware of what I told him or what I was going to do. I couldn't stand Edward anymore. He would go to Italy because he knew I wouldn't go there. The past too strong for me. Something I didn't want to go back to.

Repeating the words in my mind, I wanted to go against Edward. Do something he'd warned me not to.

Bella.

Slowly, I got into the car and began my trip back to Forks. Alice's small voice came into my mind. Encouraging me to go, then warning that something might happen. That Edward would be mad. Good. I wanted him mad. Anger would be good for him.

The Cullen house looked exactly the same, inside and out. The pictures were the same and the furniture. The phone rang and Alice welcomed me home.

"Alice, do you have a wig?" I questioned going up the stairs. I went up at a human pace, practicing.

"I think I have a medium length black one…why-" the phone got silent. "You're going to go to school and watch her?!" her voice shrilled.

"Yes Alice." I commented slowly tucking my hair into the wig. It looked good on me. "Thanks Alice. Goodbye."

"Byeee." we both hung up and my head turned to the clock.

Just enough time to see Bella's house.

It was a small white house which didn't look to stable. Bella's room was on the second story and Edward's color lead up a tree and through Bella's window. Oil lined the window seal and it slid open quietly.

Bella looked a mess, tears staining the pillows and gluing her hair to her face.

I moved around the room and one floor board squeak. I shook my head. He wouldn't keep everything from her.

My body went back out the window and to the Cullen's house. Maybe this wouldn't be to bad.


	7. Chapter 6 : Dangerous

****

Book 2 : Bella

_Dangerous_

"Edward?" I asked as we climbed the stairway.

"Yeah?" he questioned back looking at me as we continued up.

I look over at the other side of the hallway, away from his room. "Whose room does that belong too? You've never showed it to me." I smiled at him.

His crooked grin spread on his face. "That's Julia's room."

"Julia?" I questioned. "There's another Cullen?" I'd never seen her before, I only believed there to be seven and Edward and the others never talked another.

"Yeah, Julia left about nine months ago. It hard to talk about her. She was close to the family." he paused. "Would you like to see her room?" I asked smiling at me.

I nodded. He always left me breathless.

He took my hand and we walked to the room.

It wasn't like the rest of the Cullen house. Instead of being white, to make the room look bright, it was painted a lavender. The grey from the window wall made the whole room look cloudy and dark. Another difference to the room, was the king sized bed which sat in the corner across from the door. Along the wall there were at least three of every instrument, all different colors. One white, one black, and one a redwood. They were polished and surely tuned to perfection. In the other corner, next to the window, there was a piano. It was white and had hand-painted flowers climbing up the left. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen with my own eyes.

I walked over to it, and Edward followed, watching my reaction closely.

"It's beautiful." I whispered as I almost touched one of the painted flowers. But it felt wrong, like I should touch it. My hand didn't belong there.

"She painted it herself." he commented as he looked at me. "She did this whole room. She's a very artistic person. Her and Esme always decorated the houses we moved into. That's why Esme hasn't changed the house since we've been here. It reminds her of Julia."

My fingers went along the glass wall and over to the other side of the room. Canvases leaned on the wall onto of each other, while some hung on the wall. They were all beautiful, but next to them, hung all these framed photos.

"Is that Julia?" I asked as I looked at the photo of a young looking girl. The oldest she could possibly pass for was fifteen or sixteen. Her hair was a bleach blonde and she had the same pale complexion and eye color as the Cullen's. She was beautiful and she fit perfectly into Edward's chest, the only other person in one of the largest photos. They looked perfect together, two pieces of a perfect work of art. Much better than I looked with Edward.

"Yeah." Edward answered smiling at the picture.

"Why isn't she here?" my voice sounded sad, as if I knew they belong together more than Edward and I did.

"She a very complicated person. Most of the time, she'll have the answer to a problem, but she'll look for another answer. Nothing ever seems to be good enough. It's very frustrating." he groaned.

"How old is she?" I asked looking at the other pictures. There were so many of them. Most of them her and Edward. There were some with the whole family. Then some her and Alice, her and Emmett, and so on. She was beauty in every picture. She looked like she belonged so much, that there was no reason for her to be away.

"She's forever fifteen thanks to me."

"You changed her?" I turned to him quickly.

"No." he said like I was insane. "Carlisle did. She was dying, like all of us. You see, Julia didn't come from a normal family. For most of her years, her parents abused her, then she moved to Maine when Carlisle and I were there. I'd just went Carlisle, after I, well you know, had my rebellious period. It was difficult to be around people, then she came and smelt horrible." he chuckled. "I could be around her and not worry about having to kill her."

I kept looking at him through his long pause.

"Then I saw her bruises. When I touched one, her thoughts went to relief, the coldness of my skin felt right to her. But then she started think of how she got it. I got angry at them. She'd never done anything wrong, except being born, and they hated her for it. She didn't want e as a friend, she didn't want any friend. But I couldn't leave her alone because she made me feel like I was safe.

"She gave up her not wanting a friend and chose me. I tried to take care of her. So no harm would come. But even I could help her that night. I never told her what I was, and she never guessed. Then one night, she went home when she wasn't supposed to and it my fault." he was lost in the memory, and so was I. I could see everything so clearly and haunted me but he didn't notice.

"I couldn't here her thoughts. So when her parents left I went to her room a touched her, to check her pulse. It was so faint, I didn't feel it. When I went to move her she screamed and her heart came back. I was so relieved, I thought Carlisle could help her, but he couldn't. There was only one way. I told him no to begin with. The I heard her thoughts. She wanted death, she wanted me with her in death. I figured, if Carlisle changed her, she would be happy. I was stupid, so stupid."

"What happened when she woke?" my voice shook.

"She got angry. It was the first time she had ever gotten angry in her life and that scared her. She was powerful, but she had no idea what she was. So she ran. Not long after she came back and apologized." he shook his head recollecting. "I explain what she was, but she didn't get angry that time. She told me she could hear her parents and me when she was so far away and when we went hunting she could see color, or trails if you want to call them that."

"Is that her power?"

"Yes. She's got advanced hear and sight too. But one thing that makes her so different than all of us, is her lack of smell." he stated.

"She can't smell? Does that make her the safest out of all of you?" I asked, now eager.

"No!" he yelled. "She one of the most dangerous out of all of us. She doesn't understand feelings because she never had them. That makes her so dangerous it frightening."

"But if she cant smell..?"

"It doesn't mean anything." he cut me off. "Only if she understood her feeling would she be safe. But other than that, she lethal."

"Why did she leave? Wasn't she happy?"

"She left, because she didn't understand. She lost herself, so she went looking and hasn't come back since."

"Oh." I looked down at the floor. The carpet looked comfortable and soft.

"We should probably get out of her room." Edward smiled at me. "If she found out I brought you in here, I wouldn't be able to hear the end of it."

We left the room and went to Edward's.

I found myself wanting to meet Julia. I was lucky Edward couldn't hear my thoughts.

My body sat straight up. Another horrible memory of the past. The clock read 4:30 and I knew sleep would not come back to me. I laid there, crying, thinking of Edward. Wondering if he'd ever come back.

* * *

Yeah. Im doing it lol. Stealing Breaking Dawn Idea.


	8. Chapter 7 : New Girl

_New Girl_

I didn't know how long Edward had been gone. With no sun, I didn't know the time of day, and with nothing important to look forward to, I never saw the time on the clock. Each day brought another pain, more crying, and less sleep. I could think about the past and locking away my memory was so hard. I simply couldn't do it.

My eyes looked over to the board. Today was Thursday November 21 and the class was Biology 3. The teachers name was Ms. Jenkins and a small part of me remembered her teaching skills. I never paid attention anymore and was surprised to be keeping up with the class.

I looked to the window and saw no Edward next to me, only snow coving the ground outside.

Had I driven to school in the snow? I didn't notice and was surprised I was alive in any case.

But I didn't notice anything nowadays. I didn't recognize speech, loudness, music, weather, people, sleep, night. I'd become completely oblivious to everything,

For the first time, in a long time, the cold air hit my skin and drew a reaction. My head turned quick to see a small girl who looked fifteen in the doorway. Her pale skin seemed to blend with the snow and her straight brown hair cut off just below her jaw line. Her face looked childlike, but with a mature look to it. The look made her stick out like a sore thumb as she made her way into the classroom. Everyone was looking.

The girl was too thin, but did not look weak. Without the heel of her shoe, she could only be about five feet. She carried her books in her hands against her chest. She wore a black cashmere high fashion sweater and dark blue skinny jeans.

Her eyes stared idly at the teacher as she spoke, as if the speech was familiar. She'd probably heard this all day.

"You're only fifteen? This is a senior course!" Ms. Jenkins said in excitement. The girl's eyes rolled. She had heard this all day.

"I went to night school last year and summer school. I have all the qualifications I need for this class, and need it for my major," her voice purred as if she were trying to hold her temper. Even with the hint of anger, the voice was beautiful, smooth as silk.

Ms. Jenkins nodded then turned to the staring class.

"Class," she announced. "This is Courtney Clark. She's just moved here, so please act kind and help her around the school." she then turned to Courtney. "Uh. You may sit in any open seat."

Courtney nodded and closed her eyes as she started walking to the back of the classroom. When she stopped next to me, I could see how smooth her skin was and was unable to look away from her.

Her light blue eyes opened and glazed at me, then at Edward's seat next to me. Unlocked from her eyes I looked next to me and swallowed hard. Not his desk. Anything but his desk. When I looked back to her she was gone. I found her sitting in the back, legs crossed and her hand tapping her pen so fast it was barely visible. Her eyes were open, but she wasn't paying attention or taking any notes. The look reminded me of him, when he looked into others minds. But she couldn't be.

My memory suddenly kicked in.

Julia.

He'd showed me her room one day. Her small figure, she was so beautiful. Up close, there seemed to be no comparison.

I looked back to the front.

It was impossible. She couldn't be Julia. She had short straight brown hair, while Julia had long wavy bleach blonde locks. Then her eyes. Vampires eyes weren't blue, only golden or red. My mind was playing tricks on me.

I went back to not thinking, until I went into the bathroom.

She turned quickly to me, then went the ground. Her hands went to the floor, moving around while small cruses came out of her mouth.

"Need help?" I asked as I went down the ground in front of her. She looked up at me an in a smooth swift motion, raised her hand.

"Dropped my contact." she showed me the contact but I was too busy looking into her eyes. One was blue, like smooth turquoise, the other silver. It looked as if liquid metal sat in her eye. She got up and clean the blue contact, then placed it in her eye and walked out.

As I climbed into my truck I saw the girl one more time for the day. She was walking home. I waited to see her go straight down the road, but she turned at the first left. I couldn't believe that she was walking in the snow, with no jacket, and high heels.

The next day I noticed her more.

She was in my gym, second period. Her legs were thin, like small toothpicks. Still beautiful, either way. She looked good in the gym uniform, unlike I did. Every now and then she'd look at me. But not for long.

She was also in my lunch. Her body sat at the Cullen table by itself. The table hadn't been filled in for so long it seemed but she looked perfect there. Her tray held water, strawberries, and yogurt but it went untouched. Her small legs locked together under the table and her hand jolted across the blank paper in front of her while her free hand tapped to what ever song was playing on her iPod.

"She looks so creepy. She belongs at the Cullen table." Jessica's voice smirked. "And she's so skinny she's probably anorexic."

Eric said something that made Jessica glare and Courtney smile as she looked down at her paper. She then looked up, meeting my stare, smiled and waved.

I looked down at the table. How long had she known I was looking at her? Did she mind? Did she know what I was thinking?

She couldn't, that wasn't possible. They'd all left.

I took a deep breath and peered back around, she was gone.

At last, I saw her in Bio. She didn't pay attention again but when asked a question she got it right.

I looked at her skin. I wondered if it was cold under her pink blouse and flowered skirt. She wore heels again and a scarf. Her jacket hung in the back. It was like Edward's, but that was just a coincidence.

She went to the bathroom near the end of class and her path to the front sent a cold breeze past me. Her skin was cold. She couldn't be a vampire, it just wasn't possible. My head only wanted the past.

_She's dangerous. Remember Edward said to be safe. Don't be stupid. She isn't what you think._

But that wouldn't stop me from believing. My life was in their hands and now she'd come, practically out of now where. When I needed her.

I suppose she wasn't Edward…but she could pass. Even if she wasn't a vampire. I'd never know. But I could believe.

* * *

: )


	9. Chapter 8 : Memories

_Memories_

The days continued like before. I didn't talk or pay attention, just looked at her, entranced like I was with Edward. She was so perfect, so like them. Everything was just like having them back, having him back, except it wasn't him. It was her. I didn't love her, but if she was Julia, I would none the less. And if she was Julia, she could hear Edward.

Even though Edward had been gone for only one and a half months, it felt like years. I wondered what he was doing. If he'd replaced me yet? If Edward was with the rest of the Cullen's, or if he was all alone? If he was alone, why was he alone? Why wasn't he with them? Why wasn't Julia with him?

I snapped out of my daydream and found her gone, the bell was ringing.

Lunch caught my attention and she was sitting alone again. She looked so peaceful, like an angel in her white top and light blue flares. Her curls pulled perfectly away from her face and were held in place with jewel incrusted barrettes. The lighting set them aglow and the shown like small fairies in her hair. She had no lunch and was tapping her stiletto and fingers to the music playing on her iPod.

"Not eating today?" I asked as I slowly passed the table, not thinking.

She looked up to me, her blue eyes shining brighter then her barrettes. "No." she paused for a second, "are you stilling with me today?" she questioned with her eyebrow arched.

I looked down to see I was already sitting at the table with her. My tray of foreign food in front of me. "I suppose I am…if you don't mind that is." I grabbed the tray and started to get up.

"You can stay here, your friends don't look like they are missing you very much." Courtney looked over my old table and nodded. Everyone was talking and conversating without me. It had been like that since Edward had left.

"I don't blame them, I haven't been very conversational lately." I looked to my tray and started playing with the cap on the lemonade I'd gotten.

Courtney looked back up to me. "Really? Why not?" She actually seemed to care, she also seemed to not have any idea of why I'd been so disconnected. As though she knew nothing about Edward, like she wasn't Julia.

I knew she was. She had to be.

"Boyfriend problems." I whispered.

I swore she said 'typical human' but it was simply to low to hear. "I'm sorry to hear about that. I tend to not want boyfriends. They are too needy and protective." She spoke louder this time and rolled her eyes with the last light.

Protective…

"So, I was wondering…Have you talked to any of your friends since you, you know moved?" I asked, looking at her as she looked to the other side of the window. She still had one headphone in her right ear, her left ear open so she could hear me.

"They moved pretty much when my family moved, so I haven't. I'd sort of detached myself before the separation. I don't even know where they are right now. I probably couldn't even find them if I tried. They've most likely replaced me by now anyways." she sounded detached now, like she didn't want this conversation, like it was criminal to talk about it. But she wouldn't look at me. She was hiding something in her eyes, on her face. Her voice hid everything, but her face would expose everything.

If she were Julia, she'd be able to hear them. Her friends; Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and everyone else. But she claimed she had no idea where they were. No idea where Edward was.

But she wouldn't show her face. Was that what she was hiding? Could it really be her?

"Do you miss them?" I asked quietly again.

"I suppose." she spun the iPod in her hands. "But, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it?" she looked at me now, her face not exposing anything. "If they did replace me, why would they want me in their life? Wouldn't that just cause an interruption?"

I took time to register the question. If she were Julia, the irony would be too bitter. I would be her replacement. But she could also be talking about Edward replacing me, the rest of the Cullen's replacing me. She could be warning me to stay away. To tell me that it wasn't right for me to put myself back into their life.

"No. I suppose it doesn't matter anymore." I looked back down to my tray.

"I guess sometimes, leaving is better, even though you might lose what you think you really need. You might realize, it's not really as important as you make it out to be." she looked to me. "Did your boyfriend break up with you?"

"Yes…" I could feel the tear building up. "He left me…alone."

"Just wait. If you are really meant to be together, some how, something will happen. It'll be dramatic, but romantic in some twisted way. You'll get back together. You just can't worry about it."

"I don't want him to replace me. I couldn't handle being replaced like you seem to." I took deep breaths to try and keep the tears from escaping.

Courtney didn't speak. I could hear her small breaths coming out of her small mouth. Then the words slowly came out. "I don't take things as well as people might believe me too." Her voice seemed to weep, like a tragic angel.

"I didn't mean to imply anything." I rushed. "It's just, you seem to let the past of easily."

"I'm a free thinker." she stated. "Everything happens for a reason."

"I just wish I could find some way to find him, some way to know he was okay. Some way to know he hasn't replaced me like he has others." my arms wrapped around my body, like I was hugging myself.

I heard her chair move. Her cold breath touched my neck and seeped down into my ear. "You know, I can do everything you think I can." and with her last words the first bell rang.

She left me there, eyes wide and so many thoughts going through my head.

Only two weeks ago, I'd been dead. I had nothing, everything had left me in one swift motion. And within only fourteen days, she'd gotten me thinking again. She had me remembering the one thing I didn't want to think about. The one thing I was terrified of never being able to remember again.

She had everything that I believe twisted in a snare.

What if Edward hadn't replaced me? What if he was being torched with the memories just like I was? Vampires had the best memory. What if they all missed me?

How could they though? I had no real connection with them, it was dangerous on both ends when we were together. But it always seemed right.

I was some how in the next period, but Courtney wasn't there. Her desk sat alone and empty, just like the one next to me.

I placed my head to the table and tried to lock away the memories for the last hour. I locked them away so they couldn't haunt me or fade away.

As a climbed into my truck and sat staring out the wind shield, my fingers twisted in my hair and the tears finally broke through. My forehead sat on the rim on the steering-wheel. This was going to be difficult. I had to know how she really was, and I had to know soon or my insides would be a mess and my head would not be able to be saved.


	10. Chapter 9 : Call

_Call_

"Hey, Courtney!" Mike called from across the court. She was sitting on the bleachers over to the right of me. We weren't doing anything in gym today because someone had played a prank on the school and punctured a hole in all the equipment.

Courtney looked up some from her daydreaming but didn't speak.

"So I was wondering, you know, maybe we could hang out sometime." Mike encouraged, smiling his boyish smile.

Her eyes rolled and she got up and walked away. A slow sigh came from Mike as he sulked away. Jessica glared from the corner of the bleachers. I didn't understand why though, but I suppose it didn't really matter.

I figured I'd sit with Courtney at lunch today. I hadn't for the past three days, it just didn't feel right. Deep down, I don't think she wanted me there. Just like Edward didn't want me, it just didn't hurt as much.

I got up and went upstairs to change in the locker room. Once in the room, I could see Courtney just sitting on one of the benches. She was on her phone, and it seemed to be she was texting.

She looked up as the door shut behind me. She saw me through the same mirror I saw her in and she slowly got up and got the rest of her cloths.

_Say something_ my head told me. But my mouth didn't move as she walked by me, emitting cold air from her skin.

In a daze I changed and left for my next class.

The class helped clear my senses and brought me to lunch quicker then I expected.

She was sitting alone again today, but she wasn't listening to her music. She stared blankly into the distance, out the window and far away. She seemed not in this world, as if she were in a galaxy of her own. Her posture resembled that of a statue, a beautiful marble goddess, sitting at a lunch table.

I got my food and slowly made my way to the table. Courtney didn't acknowledge me though.

"Hi." I said meekly, hoping she wouldn't ask me to leave.

She nodded, taking a quick glance to me then looked away. I wish I knew what she was thinking, or who she was listening in to, if she was listening to anyone. If she had that ability.

"I don't think I like this town." Courtney pronounced after a very awkward silence.

"Really?" I asked, saddened by her statement. I didn't really like this town either anymore, but it was the only connection I had left to him and I could never bring myself to leave it behind. "Why?"

"It reminds me too much of my past. Its just like my old town. Dull, lonely, cold, and wet." she still wasn't looking at me, and her eyes were steadied on the wall across the room. Her eyelids did not blink and the crystal blue eyes did not sparkle.

"You get used to it after awhile," I spoke, remembering how I hated the rain to begin with, then slowly got used to it. It was apart of life now.

"When you've been in it you're whole life, it gets tiresome." Courtney's voice said monotonously. Her expression was slowly deepening, like something was going wrong. Like something was about to happen.

We both jumped when the phone on the table began vibrating. Courtney stalled to pick it up. With the quickest reaction I'd had in two months, I read the name on the phone.

Edward.

My body flooded with unfamiliar feeling. I think it was called happiness, or surprise. This was the proof, this had to make her Julia.

She stared into my eyes. Her blue eyes impeccably large and filled with horror. She knew she'd done something wrong. She'd let me see the truth and now I knew her secret. Her hand grabbed the phone and she quickly pressed it to her ear and with a quick breath, she regained her clam.

"Hello." she said, her monotone back. "What do you need?" she paused, letting him answer. Her eyes got a little larger. "I don't know, I'm…I'm-" she stuttered for words. "I'm at a meeting," she sighed.

"Edwa--!" her cold hand on top of my lips stopped me right in my tracts. Her eyes glared at me, going straight through my eyes and burning a hole in my skull, and seeming to melt my brain to liquid.

"I'll have to think about it and call you later, okay." she finished. "Talk to you later." And as soon as she hung up, she was gone and she didn't come back. The last period, she wasn't there.

I had too see her again. Nothing else mattered. She had a connection to Edward. She has the connection I needed and had been craving for this whole time. She had the connection to my soul, the ability to bring back my love, my life.

...Break...

The cold touch on my face was familiar and for a second I actually believed myself to be dreaming. But no, this touch was too real to be a dream.

My body jolted upward and my eyes saw a figure dart to the wall.

"Edward?" I question, still somewhat asleep. Then reality kicked in. The moon shown on the figure and her blonde hair hung around her face, shining with her skin and eyes in the moon light. The figure wasn't tall and it wasn't wide. It was her.

"Julia…" I said clearer and though the figure did not move, I knew it was alive. Well, almost.

"Julia." I said again getting up from the bed slowly. I walked over to her. She was a little shorter than me, but with much more beauty. Her eyes were sliver and the moonlight highlighted them to the perfect setting known to man. Everything seemed to shine along with the moon light, only making her beauty even greater. I knew even in death, some place like a blazing fire, she would still be beautiful.

"Julia." I said once more, now smiling and placing my hand on her face. She instantly disappeared from under my touch. I turned around and saw her standing lightly on the bed. Her body didn't even seem to crease the sheets. "Why are you here if you are only going to run away from me?" I stared at her.

Her body slowly sat on the bed, still looking at me. "I have to be careful." she pronounced. Her voice was different from before. It was more higher and sounded more heavenly.

I rushed over to her and hugged her. She stiffened underneath me as I rubbed my face into her hair, now crying. "You feel just like Edward." I sniffed. "You smell like him almost too, but with a more sweeter tint."

She sighed and slowly she wrapped her arms around me. "I'm going to have to leave now." her voice said lowly.

"What?" I choked. _Not again._ "Why?" I jerked back and looked at her.

"Because I'm not supposed to be here," she looked down, as if she'd done something wrong.

"Then why did you come here?! If you knew you were supposed to be here in the first place," I paused, "why did you come at all?!"

She chuckled. "Because I don't listen to Edward when he gives me orders. And I wouldn't be leaving now if he hadn't called."

"Edward, it's something he told you…isn't it?" I asked.

"Sort of." her body twisted uncomfortably. "He said he needs my help…he's trying to track Victoria. But Edward is a horrible tracker."

"So he needs you, for your ability." my voice was now lifeless.

"Pretty much."

"But, why did you really come?" I asked wanting to know the real reason she'd came in the first place.

"I didn't want to judge you before I met you. I also wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. If something happened to you, Edward would do something I couldn't save him from…" she drifted into a thought, quieting until the room was extremely still.

"When are you going to him?" I questioned, losing my happiness.

"Tonight."

"Please! Don't leave until I go to sleep, it will make it easier." I pleaded.

"Okay." she got up and sat in the chair that Edward always sat in.

I got under the covers and looked at her.

"You want to ask me questions, don't you?" she asked, reading my expression.

"Yes, why did you leave Edward?"

"Edward's told you about the Volturi before. Hopefully you'll never meet them. Once I did, I lost myself, and when I found it, you were already set to replace me." she answered.

I looked to the ground. "Did you love Edward?"

"Love is two ways. He loved you before he even knew it, so no. I never loved Edward, I only saw him as a brother." she crossed her legs and began to rock in the chair.

"He doesn't love me." I gripped the sheets closer to my body.

"He does."

"But, he left."

"For your safety. It wasn't smart and he didn't think it out enough, but his heart was in the right place. He really does love you." she looked at me and smiled. "I haven't been able to hear Edward since he left, that means he's sad. He's hurting without you…he really misses you."

"If you can't hear him, who were you listening to earlier?" I perked my head to see her smile.

"Alice, I was seeing her visions. Watching where he was going. Trying to see what in the world he was doing running in every direction for no point." she looked at me, then at the clock next to me.

"You didn't want me to know did you?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"I knew you would figure it out. You knew the first day, I saw it in your eyes when you finally realized you had a connection to Edward. But I didn't want to tell you. If Edward knew I where here… he'd most likely never talk to me again and we'd probably fight a lot." she answered truthfully.

"Do you miss him?"

"Everyday… I remember all the times we had, and how it all just seemed to disappear when you came along. It all vanished, everything we had in common. I tend to believe it was my fault, that if I hadn't left, he might love me, but then I realize, he loves you so much more then me. He's practically forget about me." she frowned and stopped talking.

She did hate me. But some part of me believed she hated herself more.

...Break....

I don't know how long I've been asleep but I doesn't feel like long. School seems pointless to go to, its not like Edward would be there anyways. As I got ready I felt as though I were forgetting something, but it wouldn't come to me.

I didn't see anything. I didn't care for anything. I was dead, and I'd been dead ever since Edward left. My life meant nothing anymore.

**October**

**November **

**December **

**January**

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

* * *

Okay so the end was from new moon and is a time skip.  
This is the end of the Bella Book.  
Back to Julia  
R&R please i'd love to hear what you think


	11. Chapter 10 : Tracking

**Book 3 : Julia**

_Tracking_

As Bella fell asleep, I slowly got up. My feet touched the floor lightly, just enough to move and light enough not to wake the now sleeping girl. I'd just told her things I probably shouldn't, I came here for no reason and now she knew about me. I sighed, knowing Edward would never truly forgive me, and that more fights between us were sure to come.

I went to Bella and was careful not to touch her skin as I moved her hair to reveal her one open ear.

"You wont remember this, none of this ever happened. Courtney Clark never moved here and was never your friend. Julia did not come to you to help you out. Edward left you and you must keep yourself safe for his return." I repeated, brainwashing the girl so she couldn't remember.

It didn't matter anyways, Edward was still going to find out. I knew I was going to tell him, one way or another, my mouth would blurt it out and he'd never forgive me. Our relationship would finally be lost forever. But this way made it easier for her, not that it was easy for her in the first place.

When she sighed and began to toss and turn, I knew my plan had worked and I made my way out the window, leaving Bella in her bed, having nightmares of something that should have never happened.

My feet moved slower as the rain picked up on the way back home. A part of me didn't want to leave. I'd just been welcome back home, it finally felt right, and now I had to leave. It was unfair, but Edward needed me. He couldn't track whoever it was he was trying to find. The one who was putting Bella in danger.

Victoria…or himself.

I picked up pace and the rain drops broke on my skin like glass pellets on a marble floor. Perfection ruined by one fall up, one trip.

It was almost dawn by the time I got back to the house. I first ordered plane tickets. The plane left in 3 hours.

My room sat in the same way it always had, dust slowly accumulating on everything. I stopped in front of the pictures that hung on the wall. I didn't look right with him, I finally saw it now. Edward didn't need someone like me by him, he really needed her. She would make him stronger, she would make him whole. Edward and I were too much alike to be in love. Our frustrations angered us too much and caused us to argue, we always had to be right. We were lonely even when together, both of us not loving each other the way everyone else did. Both envy of the love everyone else had but we just couldn't seem to obtain.

I walked to my closet and grabbed a backpack. My clothing hung neatly around on three walls, one left open to a mirror which I used to use constantly. When we first moved here, I refused to go to school. It seemed like a waste of time and Esme would be lonely everyday. No one bothered to argue with me, knowing I wouldn't give in. I would sit on the floor and look at myself everyday, remembering the past, noticing how I hadn't changed in almost eighty years. Imagining what I would look like if I were eighty years old. Would I be old and wrinkled? Ugly and tarnished? Not able to stand, force to a chair because gravity was to heavy for my frail legs? Would I still have a childish glow, or would I be grown up and beautiful? I would always come to the conclusion that if I wasn't unable to grow and survive, I would be dead.

I looked at my reflection now. The chandelier's light reflect perfectly on my ice skin and sent my body a glow. _Jewels_. I chuckled under my breath and slightly shook my head. Alice seemed so far away right now, everyone did. I was still alone just like I'd been for the past year.

A white blotch caught my eyes as I was watching my reflection. I hadn't noticed the paper until now, but I knew it had to be here the whole time. My hand reached for it and it slightly crinkled from my grasp. I sat down as I read it, terrified that my marble legs might crumble underneath me.

It was Edward's script, eloquently reminding me of my goodbye. The bitter taste of sorrow sat in my mouth and caused me to touch my undead heart, to make sure it was still there.

Along with the goodbyes, the song…our piano piece was jotted down and under the notes rested:

_I missed you too._

I flipped the paper over and recognized the letter I'd written him in Maine, before he came to ask for help with Bella. Help to control himself. My hand released the paper and it dropped next to me on the floor. I looked at my reflection now, and it was ugly. This would be how I would look if I were able to live. Sick, alone, sad, terrified, and wrong, oh so wrong.

I called a cab and told them to hurry for an extra tip.

I forced my body up and started to grab clothes, not caring what they looked like, just as long as there were enough to fill the bag. Stripping down, I grabbed some other clothes that would have better endurance for hunting. I twisted my hair into a ponytail and put on shoes and dashed down the stairs. I opened a drawer in the kitchen and got money and a credit card. I then grab my phone and dialed 2 .

"Julia?" he answered, sound terrified like he had earlier.

"Hey, Edward." I replied as I climbed into cab that had just pulled up. I put the phone to my chest and said "the airport" then brought the phone back to my ear and mouth. "I'm on my way, I already ordered my plane ticket and I'll be out there in at least 12 hours."

"You're going to help me." brightness slightly touched his voice.

"Naturally." I smiled and my small body seemed to warm. "I'll tell you when I arrive. Okay?"

"Yes, and Julia, be safe…I need you."

"I know. Bye." I hung up and saw the taxi driver eyeing me, no doubt wondering what a girl my age was doing going to the airport without her parents and having a conversation like that, even though the conversation wouldn't make sense if you didn't know the pretense behind it.

The cab passed the school and the parking lot was empty, today was Saturday. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella was already awake, afraid to try and go back to sleep. Doing some pointless thing just to keep her mind off of him. I wondered why she didn't just leave? There had to be a better place. Like away from the dark and wet town. Here, where every turn only brought painful memories.

~*

As I sat on the plane, I watched the people get on. First class was pretty much empty beside a couple which sat, conversing together. They were cute together, their bodies fitting together like two piece of a puzzle. Many families were getting on and they all had their own way of forcing me to remember of the Cullen Coven. How we all worked together and had our own unique qualities.

I took a deep breath and pretended to sleep the whole way there.

~*

"Edward, I'm on my way." I told him as he picked up the phone.

As soon as I was far enough away from human eyes to run, I did. My body flew past trees the sun shown and glittered of my skin. I was bright and fast, covered by dense shades of green and brown and when my eyes closed and flurry of color ranged around me. Every color had more then one shade, but I was able to spot Edward's perfectly. His voice rung out to me. He was still frantic, but getting slightly better knowing help was on the way. I wanted to see him, to help him in anyway possible. To help him go back to her. To make things right, anything.

I stopped a few feet away from him and he turned around and looked at me, relief only a spec of dirt on his face.

"Edward?" I questioned tilting my head to the side. It couldn't possibly be him. Edward was charming, Edward was beautiful, Edward was an angel. But here, now, he looked horrible, dead, and scary. His eyes were as black as the night sky. They reflected my confused face and showed no emotion from him. His hair was tangled and nomadic looking, holding broken leaves and twisting around small twigs within it. His body looked as though it were shaking like a child having a nervous spasm. He looked at me like he was about to ask a question, or break apart into small pieces at my feet.

I placed my hands of his arms to hold him together. I brought one hand to his face and looked at his brutal black eyes. "Edward, are you okay? It's going to be fine, calm down, I'm here, it'll be alright." my voice tried to comfort him, but it was shaking as well. The instability of it gave false hopes and a rocky floor to rest upon.

He shook his head back and forth under my hand. His hair flew drops of water onto my face. I looked around, I hadn't noticed the rain. The rain would make everything so much more difficult. The colors were going to blur together, it would be hard to spot one specific color. I stopped thinking of it, and began to know I could do it.

We could do it.

"Edward, we'll find her. Well make Bella safe. You can go back to her."

He shook his head again and grabbed my hand. He brought it down and held it in his. "I can never go back." he whispered.

"You cant talk like that…She needs you." I smiled and looked up at his downward face. It was so hard to look at, I didn't know this Edward. "I need to see her color Edward, before it washes away. You have to show me were her scent is." I told him, my voice becoming stronger.

His head nodded and he lead me to a tree. The tree was green and brown and red and had little colors that I knew belonged to insects. I touched the red and looked harder at the color. It was vibrant and horrifying, it was also disappearing faster then Edward stability.

"I've got it." I told him. "Do you have her scent?" he replied by nodding again, but not saying a word.

"Lets go." I started off into the woods, running slightly faster then him, following the thin red line which would hopefully lead me to the woman. To Edward's nightmare.

The trail weaved in and out of trees, up and down branches. Sometimes breaking out into two paths. She was tricking Edward, she was the reason behind his trembling. She was the reason he need me.

She was good.

I stopped at the first fork and Edward stopped at my side grabbing and shaking his head. It was hard to make out but his head and thoughts, which were jumbled beyond any mess in the world, told me _she's been doing this, wasting my time, driving me crazy. I've never felt weaker in my life._

I sighed and looked deeper at the colors. One of the reds were slightly brighter, from what I could tell, and wasn't blurred, it was still extremely hard to see.

"Edward. Is this side stronger in scent?" I asked pointing to our right.

"Yes." his voice got brighter as he took in my thoughts.

We jolted again and continued the race again. The rain only picked up and the trail continued to get harder to follow. We traced it for ten days straight. Not stopping and no slowing down. I never thought I could be tired. My eyes felt as though they were going to melt out of my sockets. My body slowed and I took a deep breath, opening my eyes and letting the air hit them. It stung and the rain didn't help the way it needed too. It only provided a little soothing until it was replaced with venom.

"Julia!" Edward's voice yelled to me.

"Coming!" I race again, closing my eyes and following the trail again.

I probably wouldn't have mind it much, hunting with Edward was always fun, but tracking was different. Our hunting trips were fun, we would race to see who would catch the doe first or who would have better luck of killing the mountain lion and not getting to messed up. But, like I said, this was different. We didn't talk, we didn't joke, there was no fun. Only running and well tracking. Edward didn't have me on the mind. Only Bella and Victoria. I guess it didn't really matter, it didn't bother me too much.

That was a lie. It bothered me way too much, more then it should have. Why was I so self centered. He doesn't love you. He never will. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't you have more important things to focus on?" he asked bitterly.

I took a breath in. I felt like a school girl getting dumped for the first time. But I kept following him, not trying to think of how my heart was getting torn to shreds little by little. It didn't matter. Not at the moment. I'd promised myself I would try as hard as I could to keep Bella safe for him. I did have something more important to focus on.

We continued and the days flew by and at the end of the month, it was clear we couldn't catch her.

"Edward." I stopped, placing my hand on the tree next to me. "I cant see her color…and I know you cant smell her. We both know its impossible to find her now."

"Keep going!" Edward said, but he was stopped too and he also knew we couldn't find her. "We have to try."

"Edward we've been following nothing for the past week! We're wasting our time!" I yelled at his persistence. I didn't want this kind of time with Edward. I wanted to have the good old times we used to have.

"Julia! We don't have time for what you want. We have to find Victoria! If we don't catch her now she'll kill Bella!"

"SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THE UNITED STATES EDWARD! WE'RE IN SOUTH AMERICA! BESIDES HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF SHE WENT TO BELLA?! SHE'S TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO HEAR HER THOUGHTS AND YOU ARENT EVEN TRYING TO PROTECT BELLA!" I shouted, frustrated with him, fed up with the waste of time.

"EXCUSE ME?! WHY DO YOU THINK I LEFT?! I LEFT TO PROTECT HER! I LEFT FOR A GOOD REASON UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW!"

Our bodies were now crouched, like prepare to fight crouched. A real fight. A mean one, one too the death. I shook my head and straightened up.

"You aren't doing any good here Edward. The girl misses you, so much. She needs you. You think just staying away and hiding things under floor boards is just going to make her forget about you? Everything she looks at brings her more memories, every night is filled with nightmares that you aren't coming back, that she'll truly never see you again. Don't let that nightmare become reality. Don't do the same mistake that I did." I begged him. The realized that I'd slipped up. I filled my lungs up with unneeded air and prepared for my reprimand, I was two again.

"You went to her house?" he growled and looked deeper into my thoughts. "You talked to her?!" he was getting angrier. "You became her friend?! YOU WENT TO HER WHEN I TOLD YOU NOT TO?! JULIA! HOW COULD YOU?!"

"She needed something!" I tried to stick up for myself, but knew I couldn't. I knew I went against his word. "You hate me don't you?" I whispered.

"No, I don't hate you. But right now, I don't ever want to see you again."

"What?" my head shot to him and my now black eyes looked at the back of his head. "But, I just, I just got you back. We were supposed to go back as a family. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. We were going to go back to Forks with Alice and Carlisle and everyone else and we were supposed to be happy. You were supposed to go back to Bella."

"Yeah, well the last time I tried to take you back with me, you said no, so think of it as me returning the favor." his tone was bitter and his body started to move away.

"Edward! Please…don't leave. If you don't come back, I wont be able to help you." I started shaking my head and I dropped to my knees letting every barrier, every fear go. The most important one, him going to Volettra and me watching, not being able to do nothing.

My arms held my back and shoulders up like table legs. "If you go to the Volturi, I wont be able to do anything."

"And that too is my fault." he then started into a run.

I couldn't look at him. It wasn't possible.

Hours which felt only like minutes passed and I curled into a small ball watching and feeling the rain cover and soak my body. My body ached, I was tried. The ground feet in front of my sounded an intruder.

I twisted up and looked over, my hair falling to the side of my face. "Edward?" I question, my vision still thrown off from the month of not truly seeing.

"Wrong answer." A woman's voice purred.

"No…" I whispered and then quickly jolted up, she was faster at the moment. Her hand covered my mouth and held me against a tree.

"Aren't you a cute thing?" she questioned as her head tilted to the side. "Now why would the fool choose the human over you."

My foot kicked her away from me and I lurched my body forward to attack but she moved and when I went to quickly turn around, the wet ground caused me to stumble.

"You wont hurt me." she smiled.

"Really?" I yelled to her. "How about you tell me why that is?"

"Because I give you a connection to Edward. The poor boy will need you to help kill me, and you cant let that chance to get back on his good side go away."

"If I kill you now he wont have to worry about that now will he?" I asked, now thinking of how right she was.

"You can possibly hope of defeating me right now, you're tried, even a vampire can survive a month without blood and still be as strong as they need to be. You see I've been feeding myself and getting the proper nutrients. Human blood is so much more filling and strengthening then you're little deer blood.

She was right. I was hungry and that made me weak. I was tired and that was a bad thing. I couldn't possibly help to defeat her right now, I could most likely only give her small scratch.

"You better get away fast." I growled. "I run a lot faster then you."

"You wont follow me anyways." she smirked and jolted off.

I'd failed.

Again.


	12. Chapter 11 : Screaming

_Screaming_

Some things, are just too impossible to understand. Like the reason we have time. It serves no real purpose but to dictate how we make our life run. Like the reason we have color. Like the reason I went back to Bella, even though Edward had placed in my mind to never go back to her.

But some things we need to live. Like the sun. It gives us warmth, it also helps us tell time. Like shades, to give distinct qualities to the colors we see therefore giving difference. Like love. The ability to give up what you want for the happiness of the one you crave, even though they may never return it.

Love was the reason I returned. Love was the reason Edward would not return. And love was the reason Bella could never leave Forks. Love was the driving force for all of our pain, we just didn't realize it then.

She was driving slowly when I returned. Making aimless turns and going around blocks more then three times. She wasn't paying any attention to what she was doing and it was obvious. I found myself nervous for Edward's sake. If anything were to happen to her, it would mean both of their lives.

I followed far away, she wouldn't see me this time. She finally stopped, but it wasn't in front of the Swan residence. I couldn't tell what she was looking at, whose house this was, was oblivious to me, but for some reason she stopped. When she got out of the car, she eyed the motorcycles that sat near the unpicked up trash. She couldn't have possibly have wanted them.

Not more then five minutes later, a boy from the household was helping her place the motorcycles into the back of her truck. My mouth almost dropped. This action was uncalled for, unneeded. It went against what she had promised Edward she'd do, be safe. She didn't seem to care though, her lips were slightly upturned as the metal slid on each other, as though she'd accomplished something important. I shook my head at her incompetence and disregard to the fact the motorcycles were being thrown away, meaning they didn't function correctly, as well as how much harm motorcycles are for the uncoordinated. Or better put, people named Bella Swan.

No matter how much I wanted to stop her, it was beyond my reach. This time I wouldn't let myself be seen. I couldn't damage her more. I continued to follow her, and was surprised again when she didn't go home. When I continued to follow, I also thought more about why she wouldn't go home with the bikes. Her dad was a cop. He'd most likely disapprove on the fact his uncoordinated daughter was seeking thrill rides on something she didn't even know how to control.

I stopped when Bella came to the line. I could not pass this line and now I was stuck. I sighed not knowing where she was going and not being able to make sure she was safe. It was then I saw it. Two brown eyes glaring at me with unimaginable force. It was terrifying. It was a wolf.

Turning my head to the side, I tried to look innocent in his eyes but I knew it was far beyond obtainable. He growled in distaste but I stood firm. I could not cross the line, neither could he. Besides, I'd done nothing wrong, I'd not killed or bitten. None of the Cullen's had.

After awhile, the wolf sat to rest but never stopped watching me. There was a feud between us. An ancient one. I didn't even have anything to do with it though. I mean, I was there when the treaty was signed. But I'd told Carlisle loads of times how stupid it was. We obviously didn't hurt people and it wasn't like we were really on their land in the first place. I followed along just to make Carlisle happy. I'd done that a lot back then.

After what seemed like hours, I saw the familiar red Chevy pickup making its way back from La Push to Forks. The wolf was still there and growled as I turned to follow. Ignoring the rudeness, I watched Bella's truck get a head start, then began the trip to her house.

The motorcycles were gone. She must have know someone down there that could help her fix them. But the funny thing was, and maybe it was just the lighting, but looking in from the window, I could see her expression had changed. It looked brighter and I wasn't the only one who'd seen it. Charlie had seen it too. He went over the phone and called someone named Billy and ranted about how happy she and he was.

But that night wasn't easy for Bella, and it was painful to hear her mattress springs creak in distaste as she tossed and turned. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket as I looked in her window from the tree.

"Hello?" I asked Alice, still creeping in the window.

"How's she doing?" she asked me, her voice filled with concern. It should be, she'd lost two of her best friends.

"She went down to the res today. She happier, but it didn't really help on the dreams." I heard her gasp and say Jake under her breath. "What does that mean to you?"

"Well nothing too important, it's not like there's wolves down there anymore."

There was a long pause. We both picked up on it. "What?" we both asked at the same time.

"You first." Alice beat me to it.

"There was a wolf there today. He was guarding the line. And he was big."

"Oh no. Oh no. Were there any others?" she asked in a rush.

"No just him. Are you trying to tell me they weren't here when you were?" I asked getting annoyed.

"No there weren't." she said upset now. She then proceeded to tell the rest of the family about the news.

"Why does my life always have to be so much more difficult." I complained, half hoping she'd hear and not hear at the same time.

"It's a lot harder on this end." she commented with pain. She then put the phone on speaker.

"Anyways, they should start forming." I started again. "Don't they usually activate each others genes?" I asked mainly to Carlisle, who'd known I was talking to him.

"Most likely." he started.

"Can't you just sneak into the res and look over her?" Emmett asked while Esme hit his back lightly in distaste.

"And have myself killed? I'm sure Edward would love that." I rolled my eyes and they all went silent again. Wrong choice of words I guess.

"Edward would never want you to get hurt Julia." Esme was the first one to begin talking again. She was still upset though. "None of us would. We missed you everyday, and we still miss you."

"I have a feeling you miss Bella more." my voice was faint as I looked into Bella's window. It would be so easy.

_Why are you thinking of that?!_ Alice shot at me so no one else could hear.

"I don't know." I rubbed my arms, how could I think of that, or even decide it as her future.

"We miss you both equally." Esme looked around at everyone as she said this.

"I miss you more." Rosalie uncrossed her legs then got up and left.

I smiled, knowing how much Rose and I never really got along. I was ashamed that this was the only way we could get our relationship to grow. "And then everyone misses Edward." I sighed.

"We don't blame you." Alice commented quickly seeing the guilt in the future. "It's just hard, because you're the only one whose up there, and Edward doesn't even know."

Bella's bed creaked and my eyes flew up. Bella twisted in an unexplainable way, a way that seem to hurt. She did not disappoint either. Bella's scream echoed around her room. It ricochet off the walls and flew around my head. It also filled the Denali house from the speaker phone. It was a skin crawling, spine breaking scream. Then it got silent. Esme seemed to sniffle as she sank into Carlisle's chest. It hurt her too. It hurt everyone, this must have been how it was before.

"I'll talk to you soon okay." I lightened my voice then turned the phone off and continued to watch Bella's pain, knowing what I was doing was wrong, but right at the same time.

* * *

OMG YES FINALLY AN UPLOAD.

ok so im on new moon as you can tell, and its so hard to write. majorly hard. ive been writing this for 2 weeks now....yeah i have been putting it off. so i hope you like it and hopefully ill upload soon again.

btw way to go twilight cast for winning every categorie you were in. Yall are Queens.

AND THE TRAILER IS SO AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i love it.


	13. Chapter 12 : Laurent

_Laurent_

Its odd. Once you accept that life is simple long suffering it makes the whole thing a lot easier. I told myself that constantly while away from Edward. I think Bella needed to hear it. To bad I was too far away to tell her.

~*

"No, not really. Bye." she hung the old phone up in the kitchen. She'd been calling every hour. Evidently Jake was her La Push friend and Billy was his father. He hadn't talked with her for three days. He had "mono". Too bad Bella didn't realize her friend was becoming a wolf. Maybe she wouldn't be freaking out as much if she had. Unlike me.

See, more wolves meant more danger on my half. Sure, I could take on two wolfs, maybe even three, but I had no idea of how many there actually were and no way of finding that out. I was hoping that maybe, when Bella, Jake, and Mike went to movies not to long ago, Jake would spill something. But when Mike got sick, then Jake got sick, I knew there was no way he would have know of it then. That night began the change. They hadn't talked since.

This could be viewed as a good thing. With Jake out of the picture, I didn't have to worry about him getting to comfortable when I wasn't able to watch. Then again, with no Jake…Bella was a sad, sad case.

My head shot up as the Chevy's door slammed after Charlie left. Bella was fed up obviously. I thought that she might be going to Jake's, not to Jessica's where she'd told Charlie she was going, but it wasn't so. She went to the clearing, to the meadow. At least that's where she was heading. It took her way too long to get there and she didn't see the obvious danger that was waiting. I remained in an outer tree, simply watching as she took in the place she loved, but she wasn't satisfied. Then there he was, Laurent. Her voice shrieked his name in pleasure.

My head twisted and my eyes strained. His pupils were red. This was not good.

"Bella?" his voice seemed to endorse her. He came close quickly but allowed a distance between them. He was hungry.

"You remember?!" she asked, happier than before. What was wrong with this girl?

"I didn't expect to see you here?" still coming closer.

"Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska." she said looking at him with hungry eyes that were being fed.

He tilted his head to the side, a slight smile on his face. "You're right. I did go to Alaska. Still, I didn't expect… When I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on." he knew.

"Oh." her voice seemed to register. "They did move on." she told him after a moment of silence.

It was then I started to think of ways to protect her. I could quickly take Laurent out, but that risked Bella seeing me. That risked Edward's and my relationship. It would have to be the last resort. Every resort was like that.

"Do they visit often?" he asked her. It came to my mind then.

"Lie." I whispered to Bella in a voice that seemed to be like Edward's, she was closer than Laurent. He couldn't hear me. He was too tied into Bella.

Her body seemed to tense at the sound. She spoke slowly. "Now and again." she lied trying to make her voice light so he couldn't tell she was lying. She wasn't very good.

"Hmm." he seemed to contemplate that. "The house smelled like it had been vacant for awhile.

"You must lie better than that, Bella." I urged. She had to think before she spoke or else this wasn't going to work.

"I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry they missed your visit." she tried to smile. "But I probably shouldn't mention it to…Edward, I suppose--" she couldn't keep her face. My teeth gritted, her bluff was ruined. "--he has such a temper…well, I'm sure you remember. He's still touchy about the whole James thing." it was a good up play. She rolled her eyes and waved her hand showing her acceptance for Edward's over protectiveness.

"Is he really?" Laurent played along. My last resort was seeming to turn into my first right before my eyes.

"Mm-hmm." she nodded.

I snarled as he got closer.

"So how are things working out in Denali? Carlisle said you were staying with Tanya." her voice was high. She was frightened, she had every right to be.

"I like Tanya very much. And her sister Irina even more…I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoy the advantages, the novelty of it. But, the restrictions are difficult…I'm surprised that any of them can keep it up for long. Sometimes I cheat." he smirked.

"Oh." her voice shook. "Jasper has problems with that too." she smiled slightly. Taking a small step back.

"Don't move." I whispered to her. It would be dangerous to move.

"Really? Is that why they left?" he asked faking interest.

"No, Jasper is more careful at home."

"Yes. I am, too." he advanced some more.

"Did Victoria ever find you?" she breathed.

"Yes. I actually came here as a favor to her. She won't be happy about this." he shook his head some as he continued to advance.

"About what?" Bella asked as my eyes glared at Laurent. He was close enough to here me now. Close enough to see the anger on my face. He glared back at me then smiled and talked to Bella.

"About killing you." I growled and exposed my teeth as he spoke. Bella took a step back, now far away from frightened. "She wanted to save that part for herself. She's sort of put out with you, Bella."

"Me?" she squeaked, her face had to be a look of disarray.

Shaking his head, he replied, "I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him."

His name sent her further into her hole of emptiness. He to advantage of that.

"She thought it more appropriate to kill you that Edward--fair turnabout, mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I didn't imagine you would be so easy to get to. So maybe her plan was flawed--apparently it wouldn't be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected."

Her hand went to her chest with the blow and she stumbled back some.

"I suppose she'll be angry, all the same." he frowned.

"Then why not wait for her." she manage to choke out. I wondered if I'd been able to do the same. Leaving Edward had to be much easier then Edward leaving you. Especially when your life seem to have no existence without him, and the love you thought you share was torn into two.

"Well," he face twisted to a mischievous grin, "you've caught me at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to _this_ place on Victoria's mission--I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell…simply mouthwatering."

I took a small breath and changed my voice. "Threaten him." I spoke to her, taking advantage of Laurent being caught up in thought of Bella's scent again.

"He'll know it was you," she whispered, obeying my command. "You won't get away with this."

"And why not?" he smiled looking at me and the rest of the surroundings. "The scent will wash away with the net rain. No one will find your body--you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate. This is nothing personal, let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst." he shook his head in an understanding way, as if he had all the right in the world because he was a vampire.

"Beg." I begged. This was going to be the last word I could say. She had to beg for all of us.

"Please." she gasped.

"Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

"Am I?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"Yes. I'll be very quick. You wont feel a think, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…I swear you'd be thanking me for this." he shook his head in disgust and approval.

She didn't move as the wind blew. It sent my hair around my face as I prepared for attack.

"Mouthwatering." he repeated as her sent filled his head.

It was then it came out. The sound of my roar echoed the meadow and froze Laurent. _How dare he. _He'd just ruined everything. My whole plan to stay as far away from Bella as possible, I just needed to watch over her. I hoped Edward would forgive me for this.

"I don't believe it." was he trying to tempt me more?

How dare he.

A low hiss came out of my mouth, one Bella could not hear.

I first thought it was me that he was looking at. But his eyes were on something behind me, the sight of which froze him solid. A deep growl cut from behind me, right behind me, and the breath sent my hair around like the wind had before.

Laurent began to flee and another wolf started for him.

Werewolves.

I took a deep breath and slowly rotated my body so I was facing the other way. The large wolf, stood staring down at me with deep black eyes.

I put my hands up and open my eyes all the way so he could take in their color.

"I'm not a leech. I'm friends of the Cullen's. Kill the fool, if you don't, I will, but I'd rather not if you don't mind. The treaty won't apply to you since I'm the only good vampire right now, so you are still welcomed here. I'll need all the help I can get protecting this one. Being it I can't go on your land." I nodded back to Bella, not turning away from him.

He shot at me.

I turned to see him going for Laurent.

"Don't move an inch." I whispered to Bella.

The wolf growled again and Laurent froze in his place. Soon another came, then two more. That made five. Bella seemed to jump a little at the other two's appearance. Their heads shot and looked at her. One head twisted and gave her a long look until the largest wolf growl, causing him to turn immediately back to their main focus.

That one was her friend, Jacob.

Laurent then fled and the wolves followed. Bella's knees buckled and she fell onto her backside. I dropped to the ground lightly and sighed. That was too close.

She sat there for a long time, most likely contemplating what she'd just seen. She'd didn't know how a werewolves teeth can cut through a vampires granite skin. She probably only thought they were oversized wolves.

As a breeze blew she got up and began running to where her truck was. It took her longer to get to the truck then it took her to get to the meadow and on the way I could hear the tearing of Laurent's body and the growls of the wolves in their accomplishment. I was extremely happy Bella couldn't hear as well.

When she got home she told Charlie that she went on a hike and not to Jessica's. There was no way to lie I guess with the way she looked and the time it was. She said she saw the bear, then commented on how it wasn't even a bear but a wolf. She told him she wouldn't hike again, which wasn't hard to get out of her. Then Bella found out the Billy lied to her about Jacob going out with friends. When she got to bed she sat there for awhile. Thinking, no doubt about today's events. That and Victoria. I wanted to go in and tell her not to worry about Victoria. She wasn't here. I knew that. I didn't hear her or see her color. Plus she'd sent Laurent to do the dirty work. Nothing to worry about. Edward would be back by the time she came, the whole family would be. Including me.

She put her fist in her mouth before she slept. It muffled the screams that night quite a lot.

* * *

Necessary to add disclaimer. I used alot form the New Moon chapter 10 the meadow in this one.  
had too.  
hope you like. no school = more chapters sooner. hopefully.  
r&r as always. love to hear what you all think :]


	14. Chapter 13 : Wolves

_Wolves_

She went straight to the line, almost running right through a red light. I growled in distaste as I was stuck behind the invisible line…again. The time that it took waiting, I just stared at the ground. The thing that separated me form my purpose. From my cause.

Bella's truck rolled into viewing before the wolves could descend. She was upset, tear marks stained her face and when she reached the house she didn't leave her car. She just sat, moving her hands up and down the steering wheel, as if contemplating if she should go inside or go back. Or maybe she just wanted to stay in the car. Her hands gently left the wheel and went to the empty hole in the middle of the dashboard. She'd ripped out the present and she ever so lightly moved her index finger around the outside of the blackened hole.

She began to cry harder after that.

After about a half an hour her weak body climbed out of the car. She went straight to her room not checking in with Charlie or eating or even bathing. The bed made a sound as her body fell upon it. She cried some more, but I didn't notice. I couldn't notice. I could hear distance sounds running to the house. They were fast and heavy, as if caring tones of weight.

I fled higher into the tree and watched as the clumsy boy tried to climb the tree. He wasn't as good as a vampire. Wolves never were. My mind screamed at him to go away as his fingers scratched the window. This was not where he belonged. That was Edward's entrance, not his. He looked up to where I was hidden then jumped into the room as the window opened.

They talked and when Jake left, he left Bella with a confused look on her face. Before leaving, he looked up at my spot one more time. When he turned to leave I made my move.

My agile body flew to right in front of his large feet. As I turned, I realized how much taller he was than me, much more beefier as well. His hair cut around his shocked face as the rain pounded down on us.

"Hello Jacob." my voice was bitter and filled with warning.

"I thought I smelt something rotten." he crossed his arms and looked down to me. "You're a little small to be terrifying." he added with a cocky smile.

"You're a little ugly to be trying to replace someone so beautiful." I smiled as I saw his grin turn to a scowl. "You don't belong here."

"You're one to talk." he turned his head to the side. "Leech." he stepped forward.

"You shouldn't talk about what you don't know." I grinned and shook my head back and forth while wagging my finger.

"Who are you with then?" he asked in distaste. "Cullen's or the red head's"

I didn't reply at once, Victoria had been on the res. She'd been close to Bella. I hadn't been doing my job, but it wasn't entirely my fault. It was their fault I couldn't go to the reservation and watch over Bella like I should have been. It was their fault she was in danger.

"I asked you a question!" he pounded, getting angry.

"Who do you think I'm with?!" I shouted because it was obvious. "I'm obviously not attacking you and ripping your oversized body to shreds. So I must be good. I also haven't killed Bella, which would be far to easy right now."

"Then who are you?!" he shouted matching my tone.

"I'm Julia, Julia Frost. Has Victoria been on the Reservation?" I asked now calm.

"I've never heard of you." he replied not answering the question.

"I'm sure you're ancestors have, could you please answer the question?" I asked starting to get annoyed again. If Victoria was here, then that meant I had to be paying attention to only to Bella, which I had no ability of hearing, but the Victoria, whose voice I couldn't hear very well, only slithers.

"Yes she's been circling. Does she know you're here?"

"Maybe…" I looked down. "I hope not."

"Why don't you smell as bad as they said you would, you don't even smell as bad as Bella and her room."

"I don't smell as bad because I have never had human blood in me." I didn't pay attention to astounded look smacked upon his face. If I couldn't watch Bella as she pranced around La Push, then someone had to. This would have to be Jacob since he was the only one I had contact with. That plus he liked Bella. Then I had to start paying attention more here, so if she came close I could get her. "Will you watch Bella when she visits you?" I asked looking up at him.

"Of course I would, that's what we've been doing." he crossed his arms like he'd accomplished something.

"Well, it didn't seem like you were paying too much attention to Bella, she's felt horrible." I said, realizing my voice had gotten sad with the thought.

"That's not my fault." he shot at me. "I've had orders. I have to follow Alpha's orders."

"I'm not going to try and make you feel bad. But I can't allow Bella to fall for you, or for you to even think that." my voice was bitter. "She doesn't love you, she'll never love you."

"That's what you think." he smirked.

"I guess you don't understand the kind of love Bella and Edward have. Trust me, I've tried with Edward."

"Edward only wants her for her blood. He's a monster just like you."

"Oh. I'm hurt. But it's more than that." I said looking to the side. "You'd never understand." my head shook back and forth at his no understanding it. "Just don't make Bella feel bad for something she doesn't feel."

He looked at me, but didn't say anything.

"I'll take that as you get my message." I walked around his body and looked up at the tree. "How many of you are there?" I'd figure I'd ask. I knew there were at least five , but that didn't mean there weren't more. He might tell me, might not.

"Why would I tell you that?" he questioned as if I were insane.

"Just wondering if you would." I smiled and flew up the tree with ease. He stared at me in amazement. "Don't you wish you were a vampire like me?" I teased, smiling.

He grunted and ran off, leaving me laughing silently. My laughter stopped as I looked back into Bella's room. She was tossing and turning again in her bed. I wished a visual could play in my mind with what she was dreaming. As she shot up out of the bed my head snapped over my right shoulder. A tree branch broke loudly and the persistent light leaping footsteps continued away from me. My eyes, closed, recognized the color.

It was her.

Bella was looking out her window before I left, while running I prayed she hadn't seen me, or more that she wasn't terrified. The tree branch had snapped when my body pounced off of it. The rain hit my skin with fierceness that I'd never felt, but that meant I was going fast. And it was fast enough to catch up with her. She turned some and smiled in my direction. Her fire red color dissected with black where her eyes and mouth should be. My teeth crunched together at the thought and sight of her ugly half moon smile.

A growl sounded and she instantly she flew up. I gasped as a silvery grey furred wolf ran into me full force, sending me flying backwards into the stump of an old tree.

A weird noise came out of my mouth and the oversized dog tired to climb the tree. I could hear the cackling of Victoria's laughter going to the other direction of the woods. The wolf then looked at me, showed his teeth and inched closer.

"What?" I grunted. "It's not my fault. This is you ran into me." he pounced at the words. My body quickly avoid him. "You're going to have to be faster than that to catch up with me. Fatty."

He darted again, but I fled again. I started on Victoria's trail. "Why did you have to get in the way?" I asked knowing I couldn't understand his growls or hear what he was thinking. We continued until I was sure we'd never catch up to her, she'd gotten too much of a head start.

When I stopped, the mutt had no idea what to do. And I will admit, he gave a good effort to stop, but I wanted him to run into me this time. He hit and fell back.

"I'll give you a second to shift back." I turned and heard a weird noise. I assumed that was the noise their bodies made while transforming. "Done yet?"

His hands grabbed my arms and tried to yank them out of their sockets.

"Do you mind?!" I asked stomping on his toe, which made him release me.

"Ow!" his howl echoed around us. "You little leech."

"Look dog." I flew up and held on to a tree branch. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You shouldn't talk to Jake!" he shouted at me, and reached up trying to grab my ankles.

"Why ever not? Can't we just get along?" I smiled and kicked his hand viciously.

He whimpered some and began to grab again. "I'm going to get you down." he repeated still reaching.

"Look, I can hold on all day. And I'm sure your leader-"

"Paul!" a voice came from the left.

"Sam! Help me get her down."

"You're the one from before." Sam and I said at the same exact time. My eyebrows arched and my hands released the branch. I flew gracefully down to the ground like a piece of dust.

"Look, I mean no harm." I said, having to dodge Paul's attack.

"Paul! Stop." Sam said, his voice taking an assertive tone. Paul stopped immediately but continued a, I suppose, terrifying stare.

"You're the Alpha." I smiled. "You should give Jacob a little more room, I'll need his help with Bella."

"You don't have to worry about Bella anymore." Sam started right when I stopped. He kept a good distance away from me, I supposed he thought I might charge.

"I do, see with Edward not here, she needs the proper looking over."

"You think you can do better than us?" Paul shot at me.

"Silence." Sam direct to Paul once more. Then turned to me, "we may not be as strong individually. But with our numbers we can kill you." the way he said kill was almost as if he saw it as my future.

"I have no intentions of killing anyone. And I know you can. I know what you did with Laurent. And I congratulate you, though he wasn't much of a challenge now was he?"

"No, a lot of talk and no spunk." he half smiled. But it disappeared instantly. "I suppose you're not going to leave, no matter what I threaten you with."

"No, I wont. There's only one thing that could make me leave, and I don't see that option coming anytime soon." I looked to the ground. Edward seemed so far away at the moment, in mind and life.

"Do you have something for him." Sam asked me. "If you did, that would help Jacob out -"

"I'm only a sister looking over her brother's love while he is gone. You better tell your Jacob that." I spat. "She will never love him, there's nothing he can do to change it. He's wasting his time."

"You've already tried." Paul said after a long silence. I didn't say anything in return.

"We'll look over Bella while she's at the Reservation." Sam said, as he turned to leave.

"Thank you, and like I said, this wont interrupt the treaty. As far as I'm concerned, the Cullen's still aren't here. So you're welcome at anytime. Please just don't try and kill me." I smiled as I watched them leave, then returned to Bella's room. Where I found her sleeping like a child, better then she had in what seemed like years.

**

* * *

yay not dead yet : ]  
**


	15. Chapter 14 : Anger

_Anger_

I watched Bella leave the next day. I already knew where she was going. To Jacob's, or else Charlie wouldn't let her go. She was going to be there for a long time and I knew that. She would be welcomed to their world, there was no way to erase what she knew. And that's exactly what Jacob wanted. There was nothing I could do to stop what was in the process of happening. He was only going to hurt Bella and she was going to hurt Edward.

While Bella was gone, I went to the house. It rested peacefully in its surrounding. Everything was in the same place as the last time I'd seen it. A small layer of dust had collected on the furniture. I took the time Bella had granted me to clean. If the rest of the family ever came back, they deserved a clean house.

A few minutes into cleaning, my phone began to vibrate. It was Alice.

"Hello Alice."

"Hi Julia. Esme said thanks for cleaning the house. How's Bella?" she asked.

"Fine, but that little Jacob is becoming a major pain in the side. He keeps wedging his way in when ever he can." I huffed.

"You sound a little disgruntled." she said lightly.

"How are things on your end?" I asked trying to make small talk.

"Aggravating. Everyone is in an uproar because we miss you three. And Rose wont shut up about Edward being selfish. She's doing the same thing she did when you left. It's like deja-vu."

"Sorry to hear that. Have you seen anything yet?" I turned of the vacuum and sat on the couch.

"No. Nothing yet. He's being very sneaky. Going to places, hiding in attics. It's very dramatic, even for Edward." she laughed slightly, but it held no happiness.

"Sounds like him. I miss his voice."

"You haven't heard him?"

"Not at all." I looked down at the floor. I wasn't wearing shoes. I never wore shoes in the house.

"Hopefully, it'll get better." she tried to sound like it could. We both knew it wouldn't. "Bella should be getting back now, so I'll talk to you in about another two weeks Alice." I smiled.

"Bye Julia." her voice sounded happy as she hung up.

I stayed in the seat for a few minutes. Thinking. I was trying to hear Edward. I wanted to know he was okay, that I didn't have to worry about him right now. Every time I thought I was close to his voice, to his thought, it would fizzle out and become a low mumble, a pit of blackness. I figured he wasn't thinking about much. I fuzzy picture of Bella shot through his mind and then it went back to black.

I rubbed my temples and slowly got up. I closed my eyes and shook Edward's tortured mind and tried to look into Jacob's. The sight was faint, but I saw him see Paul transform out of rage, them him transform to protect Bella. He ran Paul back as my hand turned to fist. I jolted out of the front door and ran straight to the line. The invisible shield held me back.

It felt like hours until Bella's red Chevy came rolling over along with Charlie's truck. He most likely had no idea what Jacob and his friends were. If he did, he'd rather her be with Edward. I wish he knew. Vampires were safer than Wolves. We could keep our control. Well most of us.

I wanted to see Jacob at that moment. I wanted to rip his throat at and feed him to lions. Or better, Victoria.

The next day Jake dropped by to see Bella, then followed her to work. I took that as my cue. He drove back down the road on his bike and I speed ahead of him and stood in the middle of the road. He slammed on the break and halted to a screeching stop in front of me.

"Hello Jacob. Or should I call you puppy? The way you follow Bella around is quite terrifying. Hopefully you aren't forgetting what I told you." I said, darkly. My voice sounded terrifying, like I could rip him in two.

"Get out of the way vampire." he revved the bike.

"If you plow into me, the only thing that will be damaged is that stupid bike." that bike was the reason Bella had gone to Jacob in the first place. I wanted to rip it up as well now.

"Does my being around Bella tick you off?" he smirked and revved some.

"It pisses me off. So does the fact you transform in front of her. Who do you think you're playing at? Hmm? You can't control you temper." I yelled.

"And obviously neither can you." Jacob tilted his head to the side. "She's coming over today. You have to admit, I'm taking good care of her."

"No, I don't, cause that would be lying." I put my arms over my chest and looked to the side.

"I wont do it again, unless it calls for it." he said after a pause.

"This you can keep that promise?" I asked looking at him with my head tilted to the side like I didn't believe him, which I didn't.

"Better, than you or your other vampire friends could." he smiled and kicked the bike in gear.

I moved out of the way and watched him speed away.

Bella continued to go down to La Push, much more now that she knew what they were, and it scared me. It would be better if she were here, I told myself over and over again. Every time she went down there, the closer Victoria got to her. I could sense it, feel it. But the day they really crossed Victoria's trail, I was scared out of my wits. They left Bella alone and there was only one thing I could do.

I remember running. I remember seeing her trail. I remember being angry, angry at a lot of things. I was angry at myself, angry at Edward, angry at Jacob, angry at all the wolves. I was angry at James and Victoria, I was angry at life, pissed off that everything that happened seemed to be bad. Like life never brought any good things. And it hurt.

I remember seeing Bella, jumping and disappearing. I remember freezing in front of the wolves, in front of Victoria's trail that lead straight past the line, and straight to the cliff. I remember screaming stop, to someone who could hear me.

"You left her alone?" I looked at wolf Jacob and swallowed something hard. "She jumped." I heard it come out slowly.

He ran away fast, following the trail he couldn't see, and being followed by the others. I fell to the ground and searched for Edward's mind. I prayed that he didn't find out. I heard Rosalie bickering in my head, telling Alice she wanted to call Edward. I remember hearing Alice saying no, that she was coming to check things out herself. I should have known then.

I went to the Cullen house. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to know if Bella was okay. If she was okay, everything would be fine, but if not…

I twisted on my bed and grabbed a pillow, held it close to my body. My chest heaved as I waited, I now had my resolve. Alice knew what I was going to do, where I was planning to go.

"Julia…" Alice's voice came through the house.

I flew down to her. "Oh Alice." My arms wrapped around her in a hug. I realized just how much I missed them, how I never wanted to live without them again.

"Julia you can't go. You don't know yet." she held my head in her hands.

"I do, I heard Jacob. She'll be okay. But I have to go. I can't stay here, I have to try again." my voice sounded as though I'd been crying. It sounded weak.

"I can't stop you." she smiled. "No one can." she shook her head and chuckled. "You're so stupid sometimes." she came in and gave me another hug. "Promise me, that when this is over you'll come back. And you wont leave again. We've missed you so much."

"I know. I guess being a vampire does that to you." I smiled and choked on my chuckle. "I'll come back with Edward or not at all. But I've missed you too. You're the best sister anyone can have Alice."

"Be safe."

"You too."

~*

I left before her, running to the airport. Looking at the flights. I was able to catch the first available one and waited impatiently as boarding took place. I watched out the window the whole time, listening to Alice and listen to Edward.

Alice talked to Charlie. She heard everything I saw. She heard of what Bella had been like in person, though she already had a good outline of what she was like.

We were half way there when I heard Rosalie, surprisingly. Alice hadn't called them, they still didn't know.

_Rose…no._ I thought as her resolve became clear. _Don't make this flight be necessary._ I pleaded as she pick-up the phone. She called Edward. I saw him then. His face, plastered with death that he wanted for himself, he looked sick, he wasn't beautiful like he once was, he was terrifying. He was in a worse condition that I could have ever imagined. He called her house. And he picked up, out of all people, Jacob picked up and uttered the miss understood words. 'He's at the funeral.'

"No." I held my hand to my dead heart and watched Helplessly as Alice's vision played like a dance in my head. I knew what I had to do. I had to beg. I had to plead. I had to try and save Edward, or die with him.

"_You have now reached you're final destination. Volterra, Italy." _the flight assistance's voice called cheerily.

* * *

YAY another new chapter : ]  
Fambam leaves saturday for Australia.  
How good are my chances that a Twilight star will be on my flight? lol  
Hope you like the chapter. Its about 4:30 here.  
Oh, and its my 17 birthday. Finally as old as Edward.  
I'm ranting lol. Bye now : ]


	16. Chapter 15 : Saved

_Saved_

"I'm sorry, but he's completely booked for the next week."

My hand hit the metal phone booth's desk impatiently. I had to get an appointment. I just had to.

"You don't understand. This is very important. I need to see him." my voice shot, there was no way I couldn't see him to make my offer.

"I'm sure it is, but he's very busy. Plus you haven't even given me your name." the receptionist told me in a modest tone.

"Look, my name is Julia Frost. I'm friends of the Cullen's and a very good friend of Aro. I'm sure if you told him I needed to see him, he would want to see me. It would be in his very best interest to see me as soon as possible." my voice said urgently.

I could here the shuffling of papers, then the words I needed too hear. "Please hold." her voice was now rushed and the notes of waiting elevator music filled my ears. I was in the clearing now.

I sighed and relaxed my muscles which had went from dead, to stone, to ice in a matter of a simple phone call. Even though that phone call wasn't my own it still haunted my mind and when I looked at my black eyes in the metallic framing, the scene played out. I saw Alice watching Bella jump and everything going to black again. It was my fault. I couldn't blame the wolves and I couldn't blame Bella.

"Hello, are you still there?" her over sweet voice snatched me from the horrific slideshow of denial.

"Yes. I'm here." I still didn't know my own voice.

"Well, you're in luck. Aro does wish to see you. He's just sent a car to airport. He wishes you'd gave him more notice. Oh, and it's raining outside. So don't forget

an umbrella."

"Thank you." I hung up and turned to the glass wall of the airport. It was raining, which was purely luck. If the sky wasn't filling with impenetrable clouds, the sun would be beaming on my diamond skin.

I'd be dead before Edward.

My eyes zoomed around the airport for them. There were only two. A smirked formed on my face. I would have been able to take them out.

I turned back to the front and Alice's mind over took my own. Edward stood in the rain waiting for a taxi to approach him. His face dead and expressionless. The rain played down his face and his hair was plastered in a wet mess.

A car ran him over and my body jumped at the sighted then sighed. It was just a vision and a real car had washed it away. The car was for me. A bold man, that I realized was Joe from my first visit, carried a signed with elegantly written 'JULIA FROST' on it. The arrival list said Edward's flight was coming in 30 minutes. That meant I had about an hour to plead my case. To try and save Edward, so he could return to Bella.

~*

"Julia!" Aro's voice chimed and rung with joy. "What a pleasure it is to see you again. I was for certain you'd never come back." he laughed as he hugged me.

"Well I never really planned too, but the circumstances call for it sadly. But it is a pleasure to see you again." I smiled and nodded to Marcus and Caius. Only one nodded back.

"You look a little more depressing than before Julia." Caius' said proudly.

"You look a little more older and fragile." I shot back.

"Circumstances?" Aro didn't know yet.

I held out my hand for him to touch. Give the background then the proposition.

He took it in in shock. He saw Edward pleading death. Then getting turned down. His childish act of revealing himself under the clock tower, ready to shine. And then his instant demise as it happened.

"You can't kill him Aro." my voice broke the silence.

"We might have to Julia, it looks as though he only wants that."

"You could change that. There's no reason to kill him."

"Why should we help you help him?" Caius voice hit like a dagger.

"Because, if you save Edward I'll stay with you." I looked at Aro and not at Caius dropped jaw.

"You wouldn't." he retorted in disgust.

"Who says I wouldn't." I held out my palm to Aro but now glared at Caius. He touched my palm lightly, I looked back at myself with blood red eyes and a grin as evil as Jane's. I didn't want this life, but if it meant Edward was safe and happy, that's all that mattered.

"She's not lying." Aro said stunned. "It's true, she plans on staying."

"So you'll stop him, you wont kill him?" I asked, looking into Aro's eyes and mind.

"We will stop him, and do our best not to kill him. But you have put me in a very difficult spot Julia. I mean if he breaks our laws what is there to do?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way around it, depending on how great of an award I am." I smiled. "But, if he shines, I will too. You'll have to kill us both. And if you have nothing to do with him not dying, I will not stay Aro." I said with determination and a set face.

"Yes, I understand." he nodded. "Alec will take you to your room." he smiled. "Hopefully your permanent room." His smiled grew wider with the words. Just the thought of a new tool excited him more then any human could.

"Aro, make sure Edward doesn't know I'm here." I replied as I turned and headed for the door.

The place hadn't changed since the last time I was here. The walls were the same color and the dark loom of disaster still hung in the air. The paintings were the same, the humans were still alive.

"Hey." Alec called out behind me. "I'm supposed to be showing you to your room not the other way around." he smiled tenderly in front of me now.

"Sorry. I've got a lot on my mind." I shrugged.

"Yeah I know, want to talk about it?" he asked his eyebrows seemed to go up some. I realized he had the same questioning look he had the first time I'd come here.

"No." I said bluntly and took in his shocked face. "The last time I tried to talk to you your sister went hellbender on me. So I'd rather not talk to you."

"If it makes you feel better, Aro was really upset she did that. And if you stay she wont do it anymore. You're more of a prize to Aro then she is." his voice sounded hurt.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on replacing your sister."

"That's nice to know." her voice came from the room to the right. "Nice to see you again Julia. I was afraid you'd never come back. That we scared you off." her voice was eviler than before.

"Were you?" I asked, continuing my pace and not looking at her.

"Yes, I am so thrilled you might be staying with us." she said with every word dripping with sarcasm.

"You are?" I continued walking and noting the aggravated look on Alec's face and how close Jane was to my heels.

"Here's your room." Alec said barely moving his arm to show the door.

"Thanks." I stepped in and slammed the door.

"Why did you have to come? I wanted to talk to her." I heard him say with anger.

"Because she's fun to upset." Jane snickered. Alec grunted and continued back down the hall with Jane following.

The room was even the same. Everything sat in the same position and as I looked around, I could picture me and Edward on the first visit here. This place was the reason I'd left Edward, because it made me second guess myself. I'd been so ridiculous, so stupid. I'd lost everything, and now I was giving myself to them.

The television screen buzz on and Edward's face came into view.

He was here.

He did exactly what Alice had seen he would do. He asked them upfront to kill him. He talked about Bella, which got Marcus' interest and Aro's eye. Aro did what he'd promised and told Edward it would not be done. But I believe Aro would have done that anyways, Edward had always been wanted by Aro. Seeing Edward there brought me back to what there used to be.

I continued to watch the screen with my knees tucked to my chest. I could see Edward's plans coming together again. He'd place himself in the sun at noon, where the light would be right. The day was tomorrow. St. Marcus' day. The crowd would be large and varied. The Volturi would have no choice but to kill him. To kill us.

~*

The night was long as I watch Edward move and pace around his room. I could hear him in my mind missing Bella. He couldn't keep me out of his mind and a few times I thought I let him in by accident but he didn't seem to notice my presence.

I began to get dressed as the sun rose over the buildings. It was customary to wear red on this day, I suppose it was one of the inside jokes of the Volturi. I decided layers would be best so I wore a short sleeved v-neck blood red tee under a jet black hoodie which was the same color as my flared jeans. Over all of that I wore a red pea coat and black gloves. My shoes were black snake skinned boots. Alec had left me these earlier from Aro. The outfit made me look like a blonde vampire angel, which was what he was trying to go for. This would be close to my attire if I stayed here.

The time seemed to pass slowly until 11:30 came around. Then it picked up pace. My body flowed around the Volturi's place and around the tunnels of Volterra. Before walking to the open sunlit square, I placed the hood over my head.

"Good luck Julia." I heard Jane's voice purr behind me. If I were to die, she was going to kill me. She probably begged for that position.

No one seemed to notice me as I placed myself in position before the clock tower, before Edward. No one ran into me surprisingly. Then I saw him, Edward stood with a jacket on and some jeans. Nothing else. He looked dead at me and his face became utterly confused.

_Hello Edward._ I called out to his mind through mine.

_Julia?_ he questioned. _I'm not dead yet am I?_

_I suppose it depends on how you look at it._ I smiled at him. I'd missed him so much and he look the same as before without the happiness. _What are you doing?_ I asked him smirking.

_Ridding myself of a life without the one I love. _He didn't believe I was real, he only thought I was a vision of his imagination. A way for him to come to peace with me. _I never meant to hurt you._

_No, I know that. And I never meant to hurt you Edward._

_I'm glad._ The clock tolled over us and we both looked up at its sound. _Well, I suppose this is it._ His hands began to unbutton his jacket as my eyes grew larger, horrified.

_Edward! Stop! It's not what you think. _I yelled at him as the clock tolled again.

_Everything is how I think. Bella is gone and so are you. So is everyone._ The clock made another toll.

_No Bella's not dead. _Another toll.

_Yes she is. Just like you aren't real. _Another.

_Edward! Stop right now! I am real._ Another. We were half way there and he wasn't listening to me.

_This life was long and feeble. _Another. _At least I had family and Bella to make me happy._

_Edward!_ I moved to him and was hit by another body. Her figure moved fast and ungraceful.

"Edward! Don't! Stop!" her voice shrilled but was no match for the crowd. It was Bella. She rushed through the fountain and straight smack into Edward like a bird into a closed window. The clock had tolled its final time when she reached him and he was only slightly in the sun.

Once he realized he wasn't dreaming or dead he went back to the shadows. With his Bella. She'd saved him, now we were both free to go.

I turned and quickly went out of the square and into the tunnel which I'd exited earlier.

"You're going the wrong way." Jane's voice hissed as I made a different turn.

"Tell Aro I am not stay. The Volturi had nothing to do with his not dying." I turned quickly to her. "That was all Bella. And don't think I didn't see Felix and Demetri back there either. You can tell Aro that if any harm comes to Bella, Edward or Alice, I will never help him with anything."

"Are you threatening us?" she sounded appalled.

"Why? Am I scaring you?" I teased and continued to the airport.

"I told Aro you were bad and only Caius believed me."

"What are you pals now?"

"You're just upset that you couldn't save Edward. That you've lost all your integrity to a human." she stopped and so did I.

"That maybe so," I turned my head to her, "but at least I don't get my pleasures out of ripping Barbie dolls heads off and following the orders of someone older than me because I don't want to end up all alone."

I felt a deep cringe in my spine and electric shock to my knees. "You're lucky I have to go get Edward now." she stomped past my immobile body. "And that Aro likes you."

She release me after that and I continued on my way back to Forks.

Then it seemed like the hard part was over, but it was just the beginning.

* * *

Yayyyy back from Australia and has HORRIBLE JETLAG  
Insert scary theme music  
Anywayssss, loved the outback. Our team got 4th,  
But our coach said we deserved at least third, and that'd good enough for me.  
Hope you like the Chapter  
And if anyone has a cure for jetlag, please help me


	17. Chapter 16 : Caught

_Caught_

I looked at my piano for inspiration, but nothing came. We'd been home for about a week and the one thing that Jacob did right was get Bella grounded. It was nice to see Edward not drooling down her throat every second of the day.

_I don't drool!_ He shot at me from his room.

Denial. But it was good to be home. The atmosphere, cold and rainy, seemed like a close personal friend. Then there was the whole coven, which were acting like nothing ever happened, that I never left and Edward never had his self loathing period. We were going to start redecorating next weekend, it just felt right. The door open and shut and Edward's worried voice caught me from my thoughts.

"Why are you on the floor?" he asked first thing. I was positioned with my legs out of the window and my face against the above window. My feet were getting wet and my pants were dripping from the constant rain.

"Actually, I'm more out the window than on the floor." I smiled as he sat on the piano bench. The first three notes of our song played. "What would you need?" I arched my eyebrow in question.

"Did you go to Italy?" his voice spoke silently.

My smile disappeared instantly. His question had caught me off guard and frozen my brain instantly. "No." I breathed. "Why would I go there?"

"Because…" he trailed off to what we both were thinking, him on a suicide mission in Volterra. "I thought I saw you there…"

"Are you sure you weren't just making it up?" I smiled lightly, faking it.

"I thought that too at first, I thought it was a way to come to terms with you. But I thought Bella wasn't real either. She was, I think you were too." he looked at me with his eyes ominously, trying to hide it. "You went to her too didn't you? Your scent is extremely strong in the tree by her room."

My jaw had to have dropped to the floor. I squeezed my eyes tightly and tried to wake up. This couldn't be real; we hadn't fought this whole time. His long arms wrapped around my small body tightly causing my eyes to shot open and look at him in shock.

"What are you doing?" I asked into his chest.

"Thanking you." he mumbled into my hair.

"Why? I didn't do anything. I didn't listen and I didn't protect her. She still almost died, I didn't get Victoria, and I couldn't even get through to you." I looked back out of the window. "I tried twice and failed both times. If it weren't for Bella, we'd both be dead."

"You did what you could. You did more than I did." he retracted and looked out the window as well. "Sorry."

"I should be apologizing to you." I laughed. "I went against your word, again."

"You never listen to me." he smirked. "I should learn, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, you should." I thought of myself at Volterra and how I would have been had Aro done what he'd said he would.

Edward turned and stared at me bewildered. "You offered yourself?" he questioned like the idea was absurd. "Why would you do that?"

"I figured that a life without you was worse than knowing you were happy without me." my voice wept as I drew my legs into the window and tucked them into my chest.

There was a long pause. I guess we were both afraid to speak.

"A world with you being something you don't want to be because I messed up isn't right." he said lowly and angrily. I wondered if he was upset with me. "I'm upset at myself." he looked out of the window. "And I called you dangerous…" he muttered.

"I'd give up anything for you Edward. No matter what the cost, even if it meant you hating me forever. So would you. I understand why you left Bella more than anyone else could. It's hard not being the right kind of person the one you love needs."

It was silent again. We sat there a long time, not saying anything like we used to. The clock chimed six in what seemed to be a matter of minutes. We both had plans. He had Bella I had Alice.

"So, you're shopping tonight?" he asked helping me up.

"Yeah, you're going to play Charlie for a fool?" I smiled and looked at my wet pants and headed over for the closet.

"I'm not playing him for a fool!" he chuckled.

"Yeah right." I called out to him through the shut door and worked my way into a new pair of jeans. "You and Bella, both being accepted into U of A, like you'd ever want to go there." I rolled my eyes and came out of the closet.

He was lying on my bed. "Well she won't let me help her get into any good colleges." he chuckled and got up. "Besides we want to go to college together."

I rolled my eyes.

"What?" he questioned as we went down the steps.

"Nothing, nothing." I held my hands up to show innocence.

"Yay! You guys aren't fighting anymore." Alice said excitedly at the bottom of the stairs.

"We were fighting?" I asked Edward, who smiled in return.

"I don't know, were we?" he said playing along.

"I hate you both." she stormed to the kitchen.

I looked up at Edward then looked at the clock. "You should go; Bella's already suffering enough without you. If you're a minute late she may go into trauma." I smiled and looked at him then opened the door for him. "Bye Edward."

"Bye Julia."

I watched him leave with my head leaning against the door panel. After, I turned and made my way to the kitchen to find Alice sitting patiently on a stool. Her smile was bright and so were her thoughts.

"Excited are we?" I asked her, heading for the keys.

"Very, we haven't done this in forever." she got up and followed.

"It hasn't been that long really." I grinned and grabbed the Volvo's keys from the rack, her thoughts grumbled. "Something wrong?"

"Edward still owes me a Porsche." she huffed as we continued to the car. She was wearing dark blue jeans with faded wash stains tucked into knee-high heeled boots. Her white shirt was half covered with a purple vest that complemented the deep purple flowered scarf she wore as a head band in her hair. Her amber eye shined in the moon light. I, on the other hand, was wearing pink Chucks, black skinnies and a tee shirt that was from an extremely old concert. I was almost positive the band was dead.

I chucked and unlocked the car. "Don't worry he'll get it. You know he will." I passed the key to her after getting into the car. "So where exactly are we going?"

She smiled. "We're going graduation shopping." she added a wink.

"Tormenting Bella?" I smirked.

"It's one of the things I do best." she put the car in gear quickly and drove away from the house. "It's funny though. She like, doesn't want anything. She didn't even want a birthday party, and that was just with the family. She needs to open up more."

"So you're…"

"Inviting the whole graduation party. Yeah." her hands spun the wheel so were on the road.

"And you've run that by Carlisle. I mean, we usually don't show people our crypt." I looked at her, grinning while my hair fell to the side.

She slightly punch my arm. "Yes, I have." she shook her head playfully, like it was a fact I should have known. Which I did, of course.

It wasn't long before we pulled into the parking lot. The shopping consisted of outfits, which took about an hour and a couple thousand. Then we shopped for lights…lots of lights. Small lights, large lights, disco balls, platforms that lit up, the works. We got decorations, like streamers and ceiling hangers. Then we got the plates and napkins and plastic wear. The last thing we did was order the food, though we wouldn't be eating any of it. We stayed out until ten then headed home.

"Do you think everything will stay this way?" I asked her. I was driving this time and my hand were gripping the wheel tightly.

"Something buggin' you?" she continued to look out the front window.

"It's just, before everything seemed so stationary, now its all chaotic. It doesn't seem stable." my head shook with the words.

"You make your own future. I know that more than anyone." her smile returned. "The future changes, but that only if you want it to. Were all given more than one choice." she was looking at me now. Her hand lightly rested on my own. "I think things will be different, in good and bad ways. It'll make life more exciting, that's for sure."

I nodded slowly in agreement. I found I was thinking of Edward more than myself. It was right and wrong at the same time. He could take care of himself. He was as strong as I, maybe not as wise, but strong. He was in love. I wasn't, not like him, or anyone for that matter. In the whole aspect, I was alone and it hurt. There was a missing piece of my heart, and it felt like it would never be filled.


	18. Chapter 17 : Gash

_Gash_

All of us were silent as we saw red in the distant future. Alice's vision played in mine and Edward's head unwillingly. Our eyes met, my own, relaxed anticipating his horrifying reaction. The look on my face seem to relax him. I looked back to Alice as she came out of her vision.

"She'll just have to go to Jacksonville, so we can take care of her." I filled the awkward silence.

Alice nodded, her hair bouncing along with her head. "With her gone it will be much easier for us to take Victoria out."

"You'll go too Edward." I said quickly, guessing his reaction.

"What? And leave you to take her out?" he said in distaste. I was right.

"So you're going to send Bella to another state by herself because you think we can't take care of a stupid nomad? Thanks a lot for the compliment." I rolled my eyes and started up the stairs. Alice didn't follow, but Edward did.

"Julia, it's dangerous, she's dangerous. You may not believe it, but I couldn't stand it if anyone got hurt when I wasn't here." we reached the top of the stairs and he grabbed my wrist. "Especially you." he looked into my eyes.

"I can take care of myself believe it or not. I'm very talented in that department." I said sarcastically.

"I know you can, that wont stop me from worrying though." he let go and dropped his arm to his side. I got on my toes, took his chin, and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks for caring." I smiled at the fact Edward cared even though he should be just a tad more worried for Bella given the situation. "But it's better for you to be with her and for us to do the dirty work. If you got hurt Bella would blame herself, if I get hurt, we can blame someone else." I looked over to the clock on the wall. "Speaking of Bella you should probably get going." my hand straightened his shirt collar, "you know she's waiting up for you. Propose the adventure, you know she still has the tickets."

I went to my room as he left and waited for Alice to enter, the future was starting to blur and fade to black.

"Something bad is going to happen." she said sadly. "I think it's going to happen to you."

We went to the bed and faced each other. "If something does happen, I'm not go to die. They wont kill us like we wont kill them. It'll be a scratch."

"Or a gash." she exaggerated.

"Don't say that." I reprimanded her. "Edward is already worried enough, if he heard you say that we'd never get him to leave." I smiled and decided to change the subject. "So how are the invitations going?"

"Great!" she practically leapt of the bed from joy. "I've got the lay out for everything we bought. It will be such a fun night."

"I'm glad. We'll need some fun wont we?" I smiled as she nodded. "Like old times."

"Like old times." she took my hand in hers. "When you were gone, I never thought there'd be old times again. It was like you had disappeared from the face of the earth. It was terrifying."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to." I looked at our hands, feeling like the patch of sisterhood had returned.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes, I did. I found what I couldn't live without." I smiled, still looking at our hands. "I couldn't live without you, without Edward or Jasper or Esme. All of you are such an important part of who I am, that when I'm away from you," I paused, "I'm just not me." I looked at her. She was smiling.

"Same here." her arms wrapped around me tightly. "Promise you'll never leave again." she muffled in my hair.

"Promise."

~*

"Come on!" I yelled as her track came into view. We followed quickly eyes like daggers on the trail ahead. I weaved through the trees and marked a thin line. It took so much concentration to hear her and see the trail that lead to her, my mind didn't notice we'd crossed the treaty line, I also didn't see the large wolf directly in the way of following Victoria. My body collapsed in a very deja-vu-like way.

"Why is it, that every time I'm close to getting her, you get in the damn way?!" my voice shot at Paul with anger. But there was no reply in my head, not even a small whisper. This wolf was smaller than Paul, his eyes more different, his coat more softer. "You're not Paul are you?" I asked as he continued to stare at me as though dazed. His large head shook back and forth then froze to his right staring at something.

I moved swiftly between Emmett and the wolf. While facing Emmett, my arm went up in defense of the large claw that was coming down toward my face. As gravity went against the wolf's large body, his claw pounded down to the ground, right through my arm. I could hear the slow dripping, something that sounded like a leaky faucet, before I saw Carlisle hovering over my arm. He was examining it and Alice was trying to tell Jasper and Emmett to calm down. I pulled away from him and mumbled something like 'I'm fine' while covering the four claw marks that went straight through to the bone with my other hand. My grant colored venom covered the ground around me, my arm, and now my other hand. Everyone was still, even the wolves.

The one that I'd ran into whimpered and cowered back, his eyes were large on my wound. Emmett and Jasper were in a defensive position, looking between me and the wolves, deciding whether to attack them or hold me up. Did I look like I was about to faint? Emmett's arm wrapped around my small waist, I did feel faint.

I looked at Carlisle. His face hadn't moved away from my arm. I raised my hand and saw the bone, still clear as day. My hand covered it again and my eyes met Carlisle's. We were both worried.

"Julia?" he questioned slowly, taking in my expression.

I took a small breath and quietly ask, "can you give me your sleeve," and looked away.

His hand quickly ripped off his left sleeve and started to wrap it around my arm tightly. I heard everyone's thoughts; _she should be healing by now._ They matched my own, by mine were worse. This meant it was much more than a cut, it could be potentially dangerous. I should be healing much faster than I was, and since the bone was still visible, it seemed I wasn't healing at all.

"Let's go." I said lowly, glaring at the wolf in front of me, his paw was covered with dark liquid. It was Paul. He wasn't thinking of apologizing, he wasn't thinking at all to begin with. Then his mouth came to a slight upward curve. "We shouldn't be on their land even if it wasn't intentional. Let them get kill by the newborns. Who cares? They're just stupid mutts who can't control their temper." I spat and walked the other way.

_Julia._ Sam's voice called to me in a talking tone.

"Save it!" I yelled and continued. I felt sick and my arm was still bleeding. Carlisle's dark shirt had grown darker and damp, and no matter how I tried I couldn't get the wolves faces out of my head. Especially Jacob's. His thoughts haunted me, he was happy. I got hurt and he thought it was appropriate, because I shouldn't be getting in the way of him and Bella.

I gritted my teeth. "I'm going to hunt." I said lowly, like a demon.

"I'm going with you." Emmett's voice pounded. "We'll meet you back at the house."

"Okay." Carlisle said lowly, I could tell he was watching me from behind. "See you there."

When we reached a deer, I looked at Emmett and nodded. "I'm going to take this one."

"I'm going to get a bear. Eat up, it will make you feel better. Then we can tear those dogs to shreds." he pounded his chest as he ran away. I shook my head and looked down, the smile on my face went away again and as I looked at the deer, I could only see Jacob.

My body leapt gracefully and pinned the deer to the ground with strength, but not my regular power. I was weak. I spent a while looking at the deer, it was dead but appalling some how. It was weird, I'd never turn down a meal that couldn't run away, but now my body sat stiff as though it were frozen. I moved my head closer to its neck, inch by inch in a jerking motion then slowly bit in. As the blood filled my mouth so did a vile taste. I jerked back quickly and spat the blood out. It was almost as if I were throwing it up.

I repeated the action, and the same effect occured. I tried taking deep breaths, thinking of something else, but I couldn't swallow. Something about the taste set me off. My eyes slowly met Carlisle's damp sleeve. Was this because of wolves'?

"Yo!" Emmett called. My head jolted and looked at him, blood still dripping from my mouth. "You full?" he smiled, his teeth tinted with a slight hint of pink.

"Yeah." I stood up straight and nodded to him. "Lets go."

* * *

1)Yeah... she did say that. (just couldn't swallow lol)  
2) Please dont throw tomatoes at me for my lack of updations. (Not a word.) School is getting me down *unhappy face*  
3) There is no man i love more then Chris Weitz, except Robert.  
4)NEW MOON WAS FREAKING AMAZING.  
5) I really like this chapter.  
6) Remember Me trailer sorta makes me think of Edward and Julia cept they DONT kiss lol.  
7) I'm going to try and update more, even if it means seeing new moon 20 more times lol.  
8) Review : ] its been awhile


	19. Chapter 18 : Not Hungry

_Not Hungry_

I tried to be quiet while entering the house, I didn't want Carlisle to know we were back. Emmett had other plans. My skin crawled as he called for Carlisle and my eyes shot him a look of betrayal. He shrugged and gave me the 'it's only for your own good' look. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the kitchen window with a sour face. When Carlisle was close enough I stuck out the wounded arm and let him look at it.

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I have degrees too." I mumbled as he started to unwrap his torn sleeve from my arm.

"I know." he smiled knowing I felt a little undermined. One look at the wound and he knew, "you didn't eat anything did you?" he questioned looking from my arm to my face. I couldn't bring myself to answer him. "Julia, you know out of all people how serious this could be. Did you eat?" he asked again.

"No."

"Why didn't you?" he started to look at my arm again.

"I tried. I wasn't hungry, I'm not going to eat when I'm not hungry." it was a half lie. I didn't need everyone worrying about me. This was just a scratch. It would heal. I shook off Carlisle's hand and walk to the kitchen table and sat down. I placed my arm on the table and started to play with it, examining it.

"Julia. You need to eat. It will help you heal."

"I'm not hungry." I shrugged.

He groaned. "It doesn't matter if you're hungry or not. You have to eat."

Alice's head popped in the door. "Lets go hunting!" she called cheerfully to me and I exhaled.

"I'm not hungry." I repeated again. By now, almost everyone was in the kitchen and they were all looking at me.

"Please." she smiled. I took a deep breath, if someone said one more thing I was going to lose it.

"Julia," my teeth gritted. "You have to eat."

"I can't!" I yelled and slammed my fist on the table then grabbed my wound. "This damn thing is repelling me from blood. I tried to drink but I can't! Every time I try to swallow I regurgitate it. I simply can't hold it down, it makes me feel sick." I shook my head and lookedbv down at the ground. "It's like there was venom on his claw or something."

Carlisle was the first to start talking again. "That would seem to answer it." he commented lowly. "Sorry I harped so much."

"No it's fine. I just didn't really want everyone to know, but I guess it's better that way." I didn't want Carlisle to be upset with himself. He didn't know.

"We should put venom into them." Emmett said angrily. "It doesn't seem to fair."

"They're mutts, they never do anything fairly." I rolled my eyes.

"Bastards." he mumbled and walked away.

I sighed. Now that everyone knew it would be much harder to keep this from Edward which was what I was planning to do. He was on his was home and I knew now I would never be able to keep it from him until it healed.

I got up from the table and headed up the stairs. Jasper was standing in the middle looking at me. As I caught his eyes a rush of clam came over me.

"You'll be okay, right?" he said swiftly as I took in the calmness. It felt good.

"Yeah, I'm a trooper." I smiled and continued up the stairs. "Thanks Jasper, I needed the chill pill."

"We all do sometimes." he laughed and continued down.

When I reached Carlisle's study, I got the gauze and wrapped my mutated arm. The cut was not as deep and the pink flesh was starting to form. You could see the process taking place. It was disgusting. I went up stairs and sat at my vanity. The reflection showed me why everyone was worried. My eyes looked as though they'd been hallowed out, dark and sunken it. My hair was flat, it's curl slowly had fallen out. I looked somewhat thinner, my lips not as full. I looked tired and not whole, as though I were missing something.

"Hate." I groaned and went to the bed. My small body didn't sink into the sheets and mattress. It kindly sat on top of everything, like a snowflake on hard dead grass. There was no way possible I could hide anything from Edward. For the first time I realized I had no strength or will power.

My arms ached and my head pounded. My legs felt like metal and my eyelids felt as though they'd never open again. My body was finally feeling like dead weight, what it had been for the past 80 years.

I rolled to the side, so my eyes could face the window. Even though I couldn't sleep, I could at least imitate it. I didn't want to move anyways, I had nothing to do. I couldn't eat. All that was left was to stay as still as stone, something we'd all become quite good at.

The sun set behind the trees, the shadow grew strong against my eyes. There came a light tapping at the door. It was followed by the doors slow creaking.

"You still alive?" I heard him question, but I didn't answer. "Figures. I leave you for a weekend, worried you'd get hurt, but leave just because you promise otherwise. Then, when I get home," he paused, I took a peak at him. His figure was leaning on the bed post his back to me. "I find you deader than I left you."

I smiled and a small giggle turned into a rough cough.

"Oh. So you are alive?" Edward chuckled and turned around revealing his surprised face. "But, you don't seem to be the same as when I left. Your arm." he touched it lightly as he spoke in whispers. "I should have been here." he removed his hand and sat down.

"No." I mumbled. "Then I would have had to protect you as well." slowly, I pushed my body up. "Besides, its healing some. Its better than it was before." I clenched my fingers into a fist. "I'm sure I could take out a few wolfs if need be." I smirked to him then stood. "How is Bella?" I walked to the window and looked out. My hand left its print on the windows fog.

"She's fine, mad though. I had to tell her why I wanted her to go to Jacksonville."

"Ew, I suppose that would make her somewhat upset. But she should get over it, you were only trying to protect her." I looked at him and shrugged.

"She doesn't need protecting." he rolled his eyes.

Then she disappeared. We both looked at each other then went to Alice. She had gone to see the wolves.

"Sorry, but why do you like her again?" I questioned sarcastically. He only shook he head and grabbed his keys. Then he was gone. I thought about following him, but I figured there was something better to do. Alice looked at me as my future slowly followed Bella's.

"You aren't even healed." she looked from my face to my arm.

"I don't plan on fighting anyone. Just tracking."

"Okay." she sighed and I was off.

* * *

*hide sheepishly*  
I'm sorry it took so long.  
I have been writing it, it just took a longgggg time  
Trust me...i hate it!  
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	20. Chapter 19 : Imprinting

_Imprinting_

_I hate him,_ Edward's voice plastered in my mind, his hatred for Jacob sinking into my own.

_Edward, just ignore him,_ I called out to him. But then his mind began to picture the Bella he had never seen. It was the Bella I had watched over, the Bella Jacob had comforted. My hatred started to mask Edward's.

"What an ass." I expressed loudly in the kitchen. I'd been stitching up my arm because it still hadn't healed. My body rested at the table that was never used for eating, only recently by Bella.

"Jacob?" Esme questioned from the laundry room.

"Yeah, like he doesn't know Edward hates seeing Bella in pain. Like he meant for her to flip the way she did. Honest, he's the one person I'd like to ruin my perfect track record on." I continued as Bella told Jacob to stop. Then, of course, Jacob displayed his usual blabber mouth and told Bella what had happened while she was gone. This meant Edward was going to have to tell Bella the details he'd kindly left out, making sure she'd be mad at Edward. Just what Edward didn't want nor need. Jacob, however, kindly left out my injury.

"It's extremely nice to know they are angels." I got up from the table and headed over to Esme as she handed me a clean bandage. "Because lord knows they have the best temper and would never hurt a fly." We both looked to my arm as my other hand secured the bandage around it.

"Does it hurt?" she asked gently, her soft voice concerned.

I smiled and shrugged at her. "No, it could be worse. I wish it would heal faster though, I don't like being injured. It's been awhile, I'm not used to it." I chuckled. As her smile returned and started to picture beating up Paul. She gave me a stern look, almost as if she could read minds. "I know, I know,' I put my hands up in innocence, "no fighting."

"It was right of you to protect Emmett. Though I'm pretty sure he could have taken care of himself. But girls will be girls." she went back to the laundry room. "You're becoming more and more like Rosalie everyday."

Rose appeared as if on cue and smiled as I looked at her. "Me and Julia are the toughest." she smirked as I nodded to her. "You up for some hunting?" she asked with her medium brown eyes. I still hadn't been able to eat, but now seemed like a good a time as any.

"Yeah." I replied and we went out the back quickly.

As we jumped over the creek she started to talk to me.

"You don't like her either, do you?" She didn't have to tell me who she was talking about and I didn't have to see her face to know her expression.

"I don't hate her, honestly, I don't think I can. Edward is so in love with her that all I hear from him is how great she is." I answered truthfully. "But I hate how needed she is. Really, she acts like she isn't, but she completely is. And it's clear she likes him protecting her, even though she always complains about it."

"Humans." she hissed.

"And this whole Victoria deal is ridiculous." I rolled my eyes. "Edward should just change her and stop arguing with it. We all know he's going to do it sooner or later. It's not like prolonging it is going to make it not happen." There was a deer up ahead so I lowered my voice. "It just seems that everything is for her benefit instead of the families.

As we got closer Rosalie fell back, a way of saying the deer was mine. _This time you'll hold it down_ I told myself as if I were anorexic or bulimic. I stopped over head and watched the deer. Its muscles were relaxed while its mouth grazed at the grass below. My body fell quickly from above, landing right on the deer's spine and making its death quick and painless. Before I could be revolted, I sunk my teeth into the back of its neck. The warm blood filled my mouth and traveled down my throat to my empty stomach. Then it started to come back up. I placed my hand over my mouth and took a few steps back, slowly motioning forward for Rosalie to take the rest of the deer's blood.

After a few minutes, I couldn't keep it down. I coughed and the blood came back up. I bent over, keeping my mouth slightly open so the small drops of blood could slowly drop out. Rosalie stood up straight and simply looked at me.

"You have to be hungry," she commented, coming closer and resting her hand on my back. I looked up at her slightly, her eyes now the perfect shade of topaz, and mine reflected black.

"If I could smell, it'd probably be much worse." I looked back down at the ground and placed my hands to my knees. Below me rested the puddle of blood. It's color dark with an unreflective surface. "I just feel so weak," my hands clenched to fist and my teeth gritted.

"You're anything but," she said sincerely and moved back as I stood up. "We should head back."

"You can. I'm going to take a walk."

She nodded and started back for the house as I started in the opposite direction. My body moving fast, but slower than usual, darted through the trees. My hands tore at branches and my feet broke limbs. My eyes burned and my breathing had stopped. A rain started and my cloths went from dry to moist then to wet. I stopped miles away from where I had begun and as I started to breath again, it came out rushed and quickened. As if I was actually tired. My clothes became completely soaked and my hair plastered around my face.

Then I realized where I was. A wolf came out from the trees and landed a few feet in front of me. I stumbled back uneasily until I was on the proper side of the line, but to my surprise, the wolf did not follow quickly. It merely took a few steps slowly and looked at me with innocent eyes. His mind didn't speak to me, his thoughts concealed as his large eyes looked at me. His eye's held a gentle softness; one I hadn't seen a wolf give a vampire in ages. Then I recognized him, he was the wolf I had run into before. Unconsciously, I moved my hand over the wound and his eyes followed. As he took in the bandage, his head dropped and he started to fall back.

"Wait." I called to him, moving forward to diminish some of the distance between us. He stopped, his eyes turning somewhat excited at the sound of my voice. As if he'd waited for it his whole life. I pushed my wounded arm forward and asked "does this bother you?"

His excitement left and a sadness covered his face. He nodded twice.

"Why?" my eyes stared at him with questioning. "Isn't this what your kind live for? To hurt vampires?" his expression looked hurt and he frowned at me with slight anger on his face. He shook his head in distaste. This only confused me more.

"Who are you?" I asked and he moved back slowly. It was as if he were going to transform in the trees.

_SETH DON'T! _It was Sam coming to us like a bat out of hell. He positioned himself right between us, as if he were protecting the younger wolf from me. His lips curled back and I glared at him.

"Really Sam, I don't hurt without reason like your Paulie seems to." I shot to him. His expression softened and his position seemed to relax but he was still at the ready.

Then he spoke to me. _Do you feel anything?_

I gave him a quizzical stare then shook my head no. "What do you mean?" I asked him, my eyebrows furrowing.

Sam looked to Seth, whose expression was now laden with sorrow and hurt. He almost looked like he were about to cry. _I suppose it wouldn't work on your kind_, he hissed. I still didn't understand what he meant.

"Sam, what are you-" I started to ask again what he was getting at, then my eyes locked with Seth's. They held so much emotion. Then it clicked and the word slowly rolled off my tongue. "Imprinting?"

Seth looked away, as if he were embarrassed then started to run away.

_SETH! _Sam shouted before turning to me one last time. _Yes Julia,_ he thought sourly, then chased after Seth.

I stood there for awhile, not knowing what to do. Then, out of nowhere, Edward was there. I hadn't heard him, but he apparently had heard everything.

"I almost ran into a tree," he exclaimed. I still hadn't moved. "It's impossible. They can't imprint on us."

I simply shrugged. "He obviously can. Sam wouldn't be that upset if he couldn't." my voice was hushed, it wouldn't have been heard by anyone else.

"Julia?" he questioned me. My head seemed to be spinning and because I was not human, the cold air around us didn't help.

"What does it mean, Edward?" I asked him as if he knew the answers. "Is this going to change anything?" my voice caught, as if I were afraid. But what was there to be afraid of? This meant the wolves couldn't hurt us, they weren't aloud to hurt the ones the others loved. Did that mean we were using them?

"I think it will turn out that way." Edward commented. "Especially if you don't love him."

"I don't even know him…" I looked up at him. "What if I did?"

He simply looked at me as if I were crazy. "You can't serious." I shrugged at him. "Julia, no, he's a wolf, he's our enemy." He placed his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"You fell in love with prey." I gave him a quizzical look, "what's the difference?"

"There's a big difference." he stepped back and looked at me like he didn't know who I was.

I started to the car. "No, there really isn't."

"You act like you love him." he followed after me.

"What if I did?" I moved my head to look at him while walking. "What would you do? Get mad at me? Am I not allowed to love who I want to?"

"No Julia it's not that. It's just, how could you love that?"

I turned to him quickly. "How could you love that?" I asked him back, my pent up frustration perking and firing in my stomach. "At least he could take care of himself. I wouldn't have to be gone all the time to just watch him sleep and save him from a nomad because I killed her mate. I wouldn't have to change him. Hell I wouldn't even have to worry about hurting him if we ever did it. So tell me why I couldn't love that?" I was on the other side of the Volvo now and we were both looking at each other over the car.

He didn't answer me, just unlocked the door. My body slid into the seat and my hand yanked the door shut. The ride home was quick and silent. I sat in the passengers seat with my legs crossed, hand folded over my chest, and my glare looking out the window. As he came to a stop in the driveway he looked at me as I quickly got out of the car and slammed the door again.

We went inside and as I went upstairs I could hear Edward explaining what happened and why I was so angry. He couldn't believe I didn't love Bella like he did, he wondered what was wrong with her, but no one told him how he was acting with her was wrong. Except Rosalie. She came up and talked to me. She couldn't believe the Seth story and wondered if I could ever possibly fall for him. I could only tell her I didn't know.


	21. Chapter 20 : Paper Cranes

_Paper Cranes_

When Rosalie left, I couldn't find myself to talk to Edward. He kept trying to talk to me through thought, which was only making me more upset. Soon I completely shut him out and went over to the window. I placed my fist on the glass and leaned on it. My eyes glazed over the trees and I cleared my head. It couldn't get much worse than this I figured.

I went to my piano, but could find no inspiration and the rain outside had stopped. I continued to my desk and found a pack of small origami papers. My eyes shifted to the blank ceiling overhead, then pack to the paper. I picked up the paper and sat on the carpet. The plastic crinkled in my hands as I tore it off quickly. There were multiple colors, a rainbow of assortments. In about 15 seconds, my hands had folded a paper crane.

Soon enough, I had over a hundred cranes. They sat positioned around me. I continued to fold as I sat cross legged on the ground. The birds were all different. Different patterns, different colors, different shades, different sizes. I was so into folding the papers, I didn't hear Edward knocking on the door, or his rude entering.

Edward sat next to me and didn't speak. He held a sewing needle in his right hand and gently started to puncture the birds in the middle of their backs so they would hang evenly from the ceiling. He'd seen my plan as I had thought it up and figured helping me would put us in good terms…he was wrong. I looked at him, but he didn't look back. It was as if we were four year olds again, neither of us talking, both to stubborn to apologize first. Finally, he started to talk, slowly mumbling like he was shy.

"I'm sorry." he stated bluntly.

"Doesn't change anything." I shrugged and looked back down at my hands. There was nothing else to say. Nothing else was truer than that. Him apologizing didn't change how he felt for Bella and it didn't change the situation we were in. That was it. We were still stuck in the same position as when we started.

"I'm not purposefully hurting you." he commented offensively. "I don't want to ruin our relationship and I don't want you to be alone either."

"I'm not going to wait around and be your back up for when Bella falls through. I'm not going to wait forever. It's simply not my style." I looked over to the window and saw the sky painted with grey. The color made the green of the trees darker but more defined. "And why should I deny Seth? He doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"Then why get his hopes up?" he finally looked up at me and the paper I was folding ripped in my hands.

"Don't you mean get my hopes up?" I emphasized my through gritted teeth. He didn't reply. But I knew that's what he meant and his silence only frustrated me more. "Perhaps you shouldn't get your hopes up." I shot at him and slowly watched his expression crumble.

"What do you mean by that?" he retorted.

"What if," I started, grabbing another piece of paper. "What if Bella decides she doesn't want to be a vampire, that she doesn't love you enough for that. That she'd rather have Jacob where she could remain human and stay with her family. What if she'd rather die old than be forever young?" I finished and took in his expression. He was looking at the ground, his body didn't move from its hunched over position. His eyes went soft and his voice was as low as a whisper.

"You act like I haven't thought of that…" he paused, as if he were collecting his thoughts. "I always think of that. It always reminds me of when you left. Then I have to stop thinking about it. Going through that again, with Bella, would be devastating." he looked up at me. My face held guilt and foolishness, I'd hurt him on purpose. "But I wouldn't stop her. Just like I didn't stop you. I know I could have came and carried you off and you would have come back with me. But I didn't want to force you to do anything you didn't want to."

We sat there, staring at each other in the silence. "Sorry," I mumbled breaking the bitter silence between us.

"I don't want you to apologize Julia." he continued puncturing the birds. "I want our relationship to be fixed like old times… When it was us. When we were friends and we weren't always fighting with each other."

I couldn't think of anything smart to retaliate back with so I just nodded. "Me too."

It was dark as we were riding up in the Mercedes. My body sat positioned behind the steering wheel. We, Alice and I, were coming back from Bella's house. Her stuff rested in the back seat, ready for her arrival tomorrow. I wouldn't have come, but I hadn't drive Carlisle's car in awhile and I wanted to make sure I still had my excellent control.

"Please stay for the sleepover," she pleaded…again. This was the tenth time.

"No." I repeated bluntly, once more. My hands turned the wheel gently, with grace as we pulled into the drive.

"Why not?" she whined.

I sighed as the car came slowly to a stop. I pushed the emergency break in. "Because," I turned and looked at her, placing my hand on Bella's bag, "I don't want to. And I finally have a appetite. I want to hunt, real food, not wimpy deer blood."

"Can't you just wait?" I pulled the bag to the front and looked out the front windshield. "You can take a trip with the girls." she smiled.

"No." I turned and got out of the car. I swung the bag over my shoulder and started for the house. In the background I could hear her huff and stomp out of the car. It was followed by the passenger door slamming. Of course she wouldn't be happy with just the Porsche.

"Ayeeeee Julia!" Emmett called out to me as I enter the side door. I nodded to him and tossed Bella's bags to Edward with a smirk.

"Alice?" he asked me.

"Sulking." I confirmed.

He nodded, knowing how she was. Sure enough, right after that, Alice came in glaring and slamming the door fiercely behind her small body. She continued sulking up the stairs. He followed her, then continued to his room.

"How are you feeling Julia?" Carlisle questioned as he entered pulling his sleeves down.

"Great," I smiled and displayed my arm. There were no indents, just four slashes that weren't as pale as the rest of my skin, almost as if that one part of my body were still human. "I think it makes me look tougher." I speculated, looking at it with pride.

"It took long enough to heal." he took it in his hands and started to examine it. "Hopefully the coloring will go back though."

I shrugged. "Doesn't really bother me."

"It probably made your arm weaker." Emmett chuckled deeply.

"Maybe you stand a chance now." I smiled and started over to the stairs.

"Oh come on Julia, like you could ever beat me." he smiled.

I rolled my eyes and turned at the foot of the steps so I could look him in the eyes. "Please Emmett, you fall at my hand every time. Don't even try to deny it."

I went upstairs and instead of going to my room, I took a detour to Edward's across the hall. He was staring at the large bed and determining if he had put it in the right spot.

"Why does it even matter?" I questioned jumping onto it and laying down. I sunk into the over soft gold comforter. I had such perfect taste. "It's not like she's going to like it either way."

He looked at me with frustration. "Stop saying that." he demanded and placed her bags neatly at the end of the bed. "You're giving me false hopes."

"I told you not to buy it." I stared at his ceiling. "But it is comfortable. She'll end up using it," I paused, "if you give her the right persuasion." I smirked and his hands pulled my ankles and somewhat yanked me off the bed. Before I fell to the ground he grabbed my wrists and held me up.

"If you aren't going to be nice, you can go lay on your own bed." he whispered in my face.

I stuck my tongue out at him as he let go. "You should be more careful with me. I'm weak remember."

"Don't try to play that with me. I know you can still hold your own." he straightened the sheets with a slight tug. I continued to my room.

The ceiling was now covered in origami cranes, giving the room a more artistic feel, as if it really needed anymore. My bag of cloths rested on my bed, it's white sheets almost illuminating off the gray outcast from outside. I went over to my mirror and looked at my reflection. My hair hung loosely around my head, a headband pulling back my bangs and the other hairs that wanted to make their way about my face. I was wearing capri-leggings and a long shirt. It wasn't proper hunting attire.

Swiftly, I moved over to the closet and picked out some capri-sweatpants and a white cami. The fit was perfect. Edward had already gone downstairs by the time I put on a hoodie. He was asking Carlisle if I should stay, if it would help for mine and Bella's relationship any. His reply was that it probably wouldn't because we really didn't know each other. Grabbing my bag, I went down and headed for the back door. As I passed the boys, who were clumped on the counter I nodded and said lets go.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Emmett asked as he hopped of the counter and grabbed his things.

"I don't get dressed up to eat." I told his as I waited by the jeep. He popped the trunk and tossed my bag in. We piled in, Carlisle sat in the front with Emmett in the drivers seat, which left me, Edward, and Jasper in the back. I sat between them, our hips barely touching.

We listened to annoying pop music the whole way. It was the reason why I had sat in the middle. The spot made reaching up to change the station far to easy. It was the radio station that repeated the same songs every hour, Edward hated it.

_Why are you doing this?_ he asked me painfully in our heads.

_You know I'm a masochist. Plus, I don't like it when you talk behind my back. And look,_ I nodded to Emmett who was now lip singing the Britney Spears song._ He's enjoying it._ Edward groaned and sunk into his seat.

The ride seemed longer than it usually did, the best explanation for that was because I was so anxious. What if I really couldn't eat now, if I couldn't hold down blood like I thought I could? And if that were the case, I'd still be hungry. Worse than I already was now.

"How much longer?" I whined, holding the r for an unreasonable amount of time.

"Oh, no." Edward moaned. "Julia's reverting back to her terrible twos." My head snapped to his face and my eyes stared him down. Quickly, my fist punched him sharply in the leg. His hands held the area as he grinded his teeth and glared back at me.

"Calm down you two." Carlisle instructed. Almost instantly, Jasper sent a heavy sheet of mellow over us. "We're almost there."

As the car came to a stop, I practically leapt over Edward's lap and out the car door. He would move slow just to irritate me. Once out, I took a deep breath in through my nostrils, only to remember I couldn't smell. I stepped out of my shoes and dug my toes into the dirt. It was cold and moist. Perfect.

"Excited?" Edward questioned as he continued out of the car and to my side. I nodded yes while looking around for a trail to follow. All the colors spoke to me. My own personal hunting map. Then I found the most delicious color.

Mountain lion.

Carlisle quickly told us what time we were to meet back at the jeep. As he finished, I took off. My body stepped on the path, following it like a hiking trail. Edward quickly came up behind me, he knew I was heading for his favorite. He didn't pass me though, he could have because I wasn't as fast as I usually was. His mind told me he didn't want to make me feel bad. It was sweet. It was as if I had my own Edward back, how we used to hunt together. When it was just us.

We stopped outside of the mountain lions den. Inside there were three cubs and one mother, the sight of her made my mouth water. I knew instantly I'd be able to hold her blood down.

"I call the mother." I told Edward while smirking as the mothers ears perked.

It was dinner time.


	22. Chapter 21 : Preferences

_Preferences_

I laid on the ground and looked up at the sky. My hand rested on my full stomach. I'd be hungry again soon, I could feel it. Edward sat up next to me. We had put the carcasses back in the cave. They'd most likely never be found. Our clothing was torn and our teeth were tinted a slight shade of pink. We were savages.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked moving his head so he could look at me from the corner of his eye.

"Finally back to normal." I sighed. I could feel the energy I had been lacking filling me up again. It was a feeling I never thought I would miss.

"That's good." he nodded and looked up at the stars with me. "We used to do this a lot… didn't we?" as if he didn't know.

"Yeah, just like old times…huh?" a small smile came onto my face. "Soon you'll be doing this with Bella."

"No. I wont." he said passionately.

"Yeah right." I laughed. "You really won't have time for anyone else then." I realized out loud and my face turned sad. He looked back at me and stood up. His sudden movements made me look up at him.

"Do you really think I wouldn't make time out of my busy schedule to see you?"

I smirked. "Because you do that now don't you?"

He rolled his eyes and started to head back.

"Wait!" I called for him and got up. "Aren't you going to wait for me to get full? I thought we were hunting partners!" I looked up at him. My head came to right below his shoulder.

"I thought I didn't make time for you." he looked at me a smirked. I laughed sarcastically and jumped quickly into the trees.

"If you can keep up with me, I'll be nice." I smiled. "I may even introduce myself to Bella properly."

"Really?" he questioned, his eyes getting warmer.

"Sure, why not." I shrugged. Instantly, he was beside me.

"Lets go."

We took off through the trees, our bodies moving about the limbs like acrobats. He kept cutting me off whenever I was about to pass him. He must have felt very passionately about me meeting Bella. I decided to go in front of him quickly so he couldn't pass me again.

Unaware of the color I was following, I met the animal quicker than I had planned. I stopped instantly as two brown eyes met my own. Edward passed me and stopped then turned around.

"Does this mean I win?" he smiled, his chest moved slightly inward from his false breathing. I couldn't answer him. My eyes were locked with the animal behind him. The eyes questioned me, and then I saw him. Edward turned and saw the animal then looked back at me. "Julia?" he questioned as he came closer. He grabbed my shoulders and cut off our eye contact. "Julia, it's just a wolf. What's the matter?"

I took an uneasy step back and watched as the gray wolf ran east. I blinked several times and tried to clear my senses. I had killed wolves before. It had never effected me, but just then, I couldn't even move. I couldn't attack the wolf. He reminded me of someone.

"Julia!" Edward called out to me. I could see my sad, terrified face reflected in his eyes. I covered my mouth and muttered.

"Seth." I sunk down to my knees. A dry cry started and my shoulders shrugged with my breaths. "I've lost my appetite." I told him. Edward got down onto one knee and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I understand." he said lowly. He waited there patiently as I collected myself. He helped me up and smiled tenderly.

"Thanks." my voice was as soft as a bell. "Let's go back to the car."

We walked slowly. Soon the sun would rise, even if it were invisible. A new day was beginning. We were going home in a few hours. We'd be back before midnight.

"I think you should be a little less clingy to Bella." I said without thinking.

"What?" he stopped and looked at me. I turned back to him. "What do you mean about that?"

"I know it's hard to trust Jacob, trust me, I know. But when you were gone, he really did help and protect her. He never lost his temper around her. I don't think he would." I said honestly.

"Julia we didn't see a real werewolf back there." he said bluntly. "Is that why you're thinking about this?"

"Yes and no." I told him honestly. "It's just that, if you protect her too much, you're going to make her mad. Then she'll start doing stuff behind your back."

"She already threatened me, she's worse than a grizzly bear remember." he smirked.

"It's not a joke Edward." I shook my head. "Bella's not going to like you not being trustworthy."

"Looks like you two have more than one thing in common." he paused. "Perhaps, you're right."

I nodded. I was always right.

"Not always." he assured me.

The next day, Jacob stole Bella. He really needed to stop doing that. It wasn't giving him any brownie points. Edward was upset, but I calmed him down so we didn't have to leave early. Not like going there was going to help anything. Plus he had already said he'd give her more room. The day was filled with bear hunting and an over population of deer. We knocked down the numbers to say the least and before we realized, it was time to go home. The car ride went by fast, with no annoying music and lots of talking.

As we pulled into the drive, it was around midnight, just as we had planned. Edward and I walked up the stairs together, talking about his game plan. I had bet him a shopping trip that she was on the couch, not using the beautiful bed he had bought her. We peaked in the door way, and she wasn't on the bed. I smirked at him.

"Told you." I mouthed. He huffed and went in, dropping his stuff and picking her up carefully. She woke as he put her down and welcomed him home. I went into my room and started to collect the dirty clothes that rested in my bag and in my hamper. Edward did a good job with keeping his cool and he even opened up the option of Bella going back to La Push. Then she told him how Jacob had said he would rather see her dead than be a vampire, one of us. That boy had problems. I snarled and went downstairs as I saw all the pain Edward was thinking about inflicting of Jacob.

_Tell her, it will show you care._ I instructed him. She liked that he had self control, but then she wanted him to slip or something. She tried to kiss him, but he didn't allow it. I smirked as I threw my clothes into the wash, then she asked about Denali. Rose was evil.

He didn't really know how to respond to her questions, it's not like we ever did anything in Denali. Tanya was the main problem. She had no control whatsoever around Edward. Finally, he simple told Bella that he preferred brunettes. I looked at my reflection. My light blond hair shinned in the lighting. I rolled my eyes; this news was new to me.

She slept perfectly in his arms and they did nothing all night. I would have never been able to stay still like he could, just watching her sleep and hearing her sleep-talk.

In the morning she went home with Alice and Edward started to make the bed. As Alice pulled back into the driveway, I went over to her, just in time to see her going into a vision. Her mind saw Bella scouring her room for a shirt. It was such a stupid vision, that I could hardly pay attention to it, until Edward came next to me, almost in an instant. He looked worried.

"What?" I asked him, shrugging. "What's the big deal? Her shirt's missing."

"She doesn't lose stuff like that." he told me.

"She's a human," I said bluntly.

"Someone was in there." his eyes narrowed

"Yeah, me and Alice."

"No, someone else." he started for his car, without thinking, I followed instinctively. He moved fiercely. "One sniff and I'll know."

"Probably not." I told him as we got into the Volvo. "If it's someone you don't know, you won't know their scent. Plus, there is more than one scent in that room."

"I'll open the window for you to come in." he turned the wheel, we were almost to her house. "You can see the color and follow the trail."

I picked up the phone that rested in the cup holder and called Alice. I told her to tell the others what was going on and she said she would. We pulled up in front of Bella's house about a minute later.

"Don't let anyone see you." he told me as he got out. Like I was that careless. He went up to the door casually and when Bella opened the door he disappeared. The window opened a second later. Quickly, I went across the yard and entered her room. He was back down in the doorway a second later. He took her to the kitchen as I looked around the room.

It was a mix of colors, worse than it was before I left for Edward. Jacob's color and Edward's seemed to mix along with Bella's. Mine and Alice's colors were bright from yesterday, but one was brighter. It was a green, sage like, with tiny specs of a blood ruby. It couldn't be.

Edward wanted to get Bella out and he called Emmett for back-up. I saw the Volvo speed off as I followed the trial. It rotated around the house and small things were gone that Bella hadn't noticed. An earring, necklace, glove, a sock, the things humans lose all the time. However, the lines were chaotic as if four year olds had been set lose. That was the second sign. As Emmett and Jasper followed the vampires scent, I followed the color. It brought us to a highway that led to Seattle, the third sign. And the final sign was the trails that waited where the other ended. Every color was speckled with the same red. A red that was all too familiar.


	23. Chapter 22 : Connection

_Connections_

The whole way home I listened to the family as they bickered about who it was. Carlisle was the only one who had it right. The red I had seen earlier was Victoria's. There had been no mistaking it. Because she had been mixed in the actual color of green, meant only one thing, that the newborns of Seattle were all hers. We were in a lot of trouble.

I followed in after Jasper as Emmett loudly announced where our intruder had gone. My eyes locked onto Bella's immediately. She sat next to Edward, her face seemed distracted, most likely worried about her father. Jasper gave Carlisle the shirt we had found and when Carlisle did not know the scent, I knew my assumptions were correct. And as Esme and Emmett spoke I saw Bella's face change. She was thinking of her options, and then she trembled.

"It was a newborn." I said aloud, still looking at Bella. I felt everyone's eyes on me. Bella looked up and finally seemed to notice me. She tried to remember me as Edward stood up next to her. She looked up at his movements, drawn to his every step, like a lost kitten.

"What?" he asked, getting closer? I looked at him calmly. That seemed to frustrate him some.

"The newborns," I paused as everyone kept looking at me as though I were crazy. I sighed. "The ones in Seattle." Their eyes got slightly bigger as they realized what they had over looked.

"But why were they in Bella's room?" Esme asked.

"Newborn's wouldn't have enough constraint to keep Charlie alive." Carlisle spoke, making Bella tremble again.

"One with orders would."

"Orders?" Alice questioned.

"From their maker."

"Which would be…?" Edward didn't look at me; his eyes were drawn to the scar on Bella arm. The mark that James had left. He had answered the question in his mind.

"The only one who wants Bella dead." I looked back at her. "Victoria." the name rolled over my tongue, sour etched on ever syllable.

Everything seemed to make sense now, but no one seemed to notice it. They took my statement as a question.

"The timing of it was too perfect…. This visitor was so careful to make no contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see…." it refuted Esme's safer comment and confirmed my dangerous accusations. Esme fought for her point, trying to ease Edward's mind…which was tarnished as soon as Bella opened her mouth.

"We shouldn't wait for graduation." I didn't need to be here for this. I past Edward as he began to comfort Bella with "its okay" and "we'd know if you're really in danger." Which what was exactly what she was in. Newborn's sucked and with our numbers they were extremely dangerous.

I met Rosalie outside. Her face reminded me of something. She was glaring out into the woods. Her lips gutted out in frustration and the first words that came out of her mouth were, "we're going to have to watch over her. Again." Bitterness, yup that was it.

I shrugged. Not like we hadn't done it before. And she was the one who didn't want Bella to be a vampire. I laid in a lawn chair until Edward took Bella home, then I went inside. I was confronted with a chart. It was titled SURVALIENCE and my name was written first. I looked at Esme with a sad expression.

"Esme." I said painfully, "it's supposed to rain tonight." my voice whined and protested.

She didn't return any remorse. "It rains every night dear." I growled and grabbed my coat as I left.

I got to the house just a little after them and waited at the front door for Edward to greet me. He excused himself and came out.

"Hey." he stood under the over hang as I glared at him. My hair was already drenched.

"I. hate. your. girlfriend." I pronounced each word signally.

"I know, I know." he said understandingly. "Just sit in a tree and try to keep dry." he smile and kissed my forehead. "Thanks for coming and looking earlier."

"You are not welcome." I emphasized and turned to go up a tree. He watched me, then went back inside.

Edward left then came back and sang Bella to sleep. I could hear his musical voice through the walls of the house. And even though there was nothing to see, I kept watch the whole night. This was going to be the worse job ever.

When I got home in the morning, right when it had stopped raining of course, I rung out my hair. It was frizzed and disgusting. My clothes were sopping and even though I tried to stay clear of Rosalie so she wouldn't get upset, she still saw me and started to complain to Esme, making sure she wouldn't have any nights like last night. Only days for her.

After taking a shower and changing into some dry clothes, jean shorts and an old shirt, I could hear Edward talking to Jacob. My tensions were eased when I realized it wasn't face to face but phone to phone. Then he started to talk to me.

_I'm going to thank you and make up with you now._ he told me, a smile stuck in his thoughts.

_Oh really?_ replied, trying to peek but ended up being blocked. Jacob's voice came in over his, talking about rearranging the treaty line, for awhile at least. I could feel my shoulders rise in excitement.

"That's an interesting suggestion." he smiled hearing my reaction. "We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable."

I started to shout at him. _You really mean it? Oh Edward_, I leapt in the air and ran out of my room and into Alice's. She looked at me like I was crazy. I thought of going to the reservation and seeing Seth, talking to him, seeing him look at me like he had before, while watching my future in Alice's mind. It slowly disappeared. I hugged her and started to jump up and down, like a giddy four year old getting a toy she had begged for.

"I'm going to get to talk to Seth." I over smiled at her.

"Oh great." she rolled her eyes and laughed lightly.

That night was the Quileutes' bond fire. I had heard the story before, about the tribe and the third wife. But I wanted to see how Seth took the information. After all, he seemed to have imprinted on me, and the evil vampire was female, and blonde. I wondered if imprinting could fade if you were terrified enough. At the end of the story his eyes were wide. Fear? Some part of me hoped not.

I wanted to ask him myself, to know if he had since I couldn't venture into his mind. So I looked into Jacob's. Seth was going to watch the line in the morning, scouting. I'd go then.

It was midnight now, leaving at least six hours to get ready. I would cover up most of my skin, that way I wouldn't startle him to much.

The time passed quickly as it usually did when you were a vampire. It was soothing and exciting all at the same time. I casually looked at myself in the mirror. I wore a blue long sleeve top that synched under the bust, and flared to the waist. My white jeans made my legs look somewhat longer and the black heels helped as well. I had my hair twisted into a ponytail with my bangs and a few long pieces curling out. Everything was perfect.

I went gently down the stairs and Edward was waiting for me at the bottom. He'd just changed too.

"You look very nice." he smiled lightly. "Visiting someone?" he questioned with his crooked grin.

"Yes." I smiled back at him. He had already seen my plans and he had no objections. If he had tried to argue with me, he knew he would have lost the battle.

"Don't push it." he said lightly. "It might hurt you."

"Everyone gets hurt Edward." I smiled at him. "We can't always be safe and protected."

"Yes," he said thoughtfully, looking down. "I suppose you're right. See you later."

I turned around waving over my shoulder and heading out the front. It took mere minutes to meet the line. I positioned myself behind a tree, my body small enough to fit behind its medium sized trunk. I held onto its sides tenderly, my hands soft against its rough bark. It was there that I waited for him. I watched where he was supposed to be position, where Alice had seen my future disappear only hours ago.

The sun rose and lit the land around us. In mere minutes I found him. He was coming from the trees, his paws indenting into the dewy ground. I moved my hands slightly and he flinched and bared his teeth. He got low to the ground ready to attack whatever it was in the distance. He was so young though, it seemed impossible that he would have changed already. I realized how small he was compared to Jacob's wolf size. He looked fragile.

I came out from my hiding place, unwillingly because the sun was emitting from the treetops and it scattered along the river that separated our lands. I shined more than the crystal water. My hands looked as though there were covered in gloves which had been bedazzled. I could only think how my face looked. He realized it was me instantly and could only stare at me. I didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing.

My feet moved back into the shadows, I hated not knowing what he thought of me. What if I had frightened him? How could I know? But as my feet took me back, his paws moved him forward. He came as close to the edge as he could and a low moan came from his chest which stopped me instantly. He moved his head back motioning for me to come forward again. I moved willingly, putting myself on the edge like him.

"Hi." I spoke softly. I was shining again, but I still could not hear him. I glowed in his eyes, shinning brighter than a diamond ring. He looked as though he was lost in a dream. I laced my fingers in front of me and started to twiddle them. "I remind you of her don't I." It wasn't a question. To him, to them, we were monsters, and I only looked like the evil vampire who killed the people in his clan.

He blinked several times then looked at me with wide eyes. His head started to shake back and forth. Quickly, he backed into the trees and I could here him shifting. He came back with some shorts on and a wide smile.

"No." he laughed. "I pictured her much taller, and bloodthirsty." he paused and looked at the space between us. "You don't look hungry at all." he commented, still smiling.

"I'm not." I had eaten before coming here. The breeze pushed his way and once his nose wrinkled I sighed. "I put on perfume. I'm sorry for the smell."

He shrugged. "It's different. I'll get use to it. It's not that bad really." he smiled at me and looked me in the eyes. "You look really nice." he ended, still intertwined within my topaz eyes.

"Thanks." I'd been waiting to talk to him for so long, and now that I could, I didn't know what to talk about.

"Sam said he can't stop me from talking to you." his voice took me by surprise. "He said that since I've imprinted it's out of his hands." he paused. "He also said you can read minds." The words came out eager. Sam had probably told him that to frighten him, it obviously didn't work. I nodded, then he started again. "We can communicate by mind too, but you probably knew that already."

His body seemed to lean forward, but he quickly realized we weren't allowed any further. He looked around and his eyebrows furrowed. Frustration. He looked back up at me.

"So… can you hear me?" he smiled.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't know you well enough. I have to have a connection with someone before I can hear their thoughts. I'm not like Edward, but I also don't have to worry about space. Once I know someone, I can hear them anywhere. The more I know them, the louder they are."

"Awesome." he said enthusiastically. "That's so cool."

He wasn't afraid at all. He was interested, excited, eager, but not terrified. There was a light in his eyes, a spark that seemed to take me in. It was warm and comforting. It was real.

"Jake told me that when he went to see Bella, you didn't hurt him. He tells me that you weren't really a threat." he looked down. "Could you have hurt him?"

I smiled. "Yes, if he ever got on my bad side."

"I like Jake a lot. I wish he was Alpha sometimes." he told me truthfully. "He wouldn't have told me not to try to find you." he frowned.

"Sam did that?" I questioned. I knew it wasn't out of Sam's ability to do that. But I didn't know all of the tricks and trades of the werewolf life.

"Yeah." it came out forcefully. "He said that you were bad news."

I smirked. "He's probably right. A vampire can be very dangerous."

"You don't look like you've ever hurt anyone in your life." he objected.

"I haven't. That's why I don't smell as bad, my venom has not been tinted." I smiled. "I have a lot of self control."

He laughed. "So Jake's safe?"

"Yeah." I chuckled and looked over to where the water flowed over to the ocean. One mixing with another, but part of the same thing. But both different. One old, one young. One flowing, one almost set in a permanent position, only allowed to go back and forth. To crash upon a land where it didn't belong. I questioned who was who.

"I wish the others could talk to you." Seth said, looking out into the distance. "They would like you, I'm sure." he peeked back over to me.

_I wish Sam liked you._ he thought. That was it. We were connected.

"Me too." I commented on the unsaid. "He could have killed me once, but he didn't. So I guess he's not all bad."

He looked at me, his eyes bright again. "You can hear my thoughts?" he questioned with excitement. I nodded. "Good."

"You should turn back now." I told him. "If you're gone from thoughts for too long, Sam will get mad." I nodded and went back into the woods and came out as a wolf. We continued to talk until it was time for Paul's watch. I promised him we would talk soon and very softly in his head I could hear him say I love you.


	24. Chapter 23 : Difference

_Difference_

The next few days were filled with surveillance and party preparation. Graduation was right around the corner, and Alice wanted to check to make sure we had gotten everything on our first trip. We had of course, but knowing Alice, she would find some extra odds and ends to add on.

In about two hours, we were going hunting. To Edward's great distress, Bella was going to Jacob. And to his greatest displeasure, he'd have to listen to me some more. Unfortunately for Edward, all I could think about was Seth. I had been listening to his thoughts and they were more or less always about me.

It was nice to know how much his was intertwined with me, even though we'd only actually talked to each other once.

"You're becoming a Narcissist." he commented as I entered the kitchen.

Like a four year old I stuck my tongue out at him. "If Bella knew how much you thought about her, she'd be just the same."

"She already knows how much I think about her." he smiled.

"Uhuh." I rolled my eyes and walked to the car, well aware how close he was to my heels. "You know I can read your mind."

"Don't you think you're getting in this whole love thing a little too far?" he questioned, rudely.

"Why? Can I not be in love?" I asked him sarcastically.

"Well, yes you can, but." he paused.

"Yes?"

"He's a wolf."

I stopped in my tracks and put my hand onto his chest. "Don't even go there." my voice was evil. He looked at me in awe. "There is no possible way you can look down on me for liking him. Not when you've fallen in love with prey."

"Prey, yes. But immortal enemy. No. I can't say that I have," he looked me dead in the eyes.

"I can not believe you!" I threw my hands up in defeat. Esme looked over her shoulder from ahead. "You are aware that your son is a total ass right?"

She smile and turned back around. Edward's chuckle came out low.

"That's not very nice Julia." he smiled. I shot him a fierce glare and started to run ahead. "Wait!" he shouted from behind and started to run.

"You may be fast Edward Cullen." I started, and then quickened my speed. "But you will never match up to me!"

We hunted deer. All the while, I snuck into Jacob and Bella's conversation, with Edward blocked out of course. I had cut him off just in time too. Jacob had the audacity to call Bella mean. But what was worse was that she agreed with him. They really didn't make boys the way they use too. Politeness must not be cool anymore. But I really wasn't expecting the whole kiss and face punch thing. Edward caught that. He demanded we go back immediately.

Once back he rushed into the Volvo as I continued to the line. Jacob was planning to go there and I need to have some words with him. After his and Edward's tiff, sure enough, he came to the spot where I rested. He noticed me instantly and shifted as I turned away.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his voice harsh.

"Okay rudeness," I put my hand up to stop him and gracefully got up on my feet. "And you wonder why Bella doesn't like you like she like Edward." I watched as his mouth hit the ground.

"Excuse me?" he puffed, making his chest look big.

"You heard me." I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and cocking my head to the side. "You're rude."

"How?" he sounded offended.

"'You're the mean one.' and 'Oh by the way, let me kiss you when you obviously don't like me. I'm going to force you to like me.'"

"She does like me!" he threw his fist down.

"No, not really." I rolled my eyes.

"She does. She has love for me."

I sighed. What a fool. "There's a difference between loving someone and being in-love with someone." I told him, looking into his eyes. They were moist.

"It's not fair." he shook his head. "How can she love a monster like you? Your kind isn't even alive."

I shrugged and looked up to the east; at least he didn't call me ugly. Then he started talking again.

"I can understand Seth." it caught me off guard. I must have looked at him stupidly because he continued to explain himself. "I mean it's not that I like you or anything, but it isn't like he can help it. I can feel his love for you. He never shuts up, it's annoying." I smiled. I knew he thought about me, I could hear him. "But I feel like that for Bella. It's not fair." he repeated.

"It's just…not the same. I mean, you haven't imprinted on her."

"Well, imprinting didn't work on you." he shot. This was true.

"But I love Seth." I retorted, because this was also true.

"What about Edward?" Once again, he came back with something unexpected.

"What?" I questioned back.

"What about Edward? I thought you loved him?"

"I was wrong."

"You gave up."

"No."

"Yes."

"No. I didn't give up. I got smart." I said fed up with his argue. He was wrong. He needed to realize that and leave good enough be. "Like I said, you can love someone but not be in-love with them. That's just it. I'm in love with Seth; I love Edward as a brother. I realize now that it was always supposed to be him and Bella. It was never he and I as a couple. To many years together I guess. I'm leaving good enough where it is. What's the point of ruining a good relationship because he fell madly in-love? I can't change that, and I couldn't even if I tried."

He looked at me and grunted.

"What?" I asked him again, cocking an attitude.

"I still think you gave up."

I sighed. There was no way to get through.

"It's because he came back." he mumbled. "If he hadn't have come back then, then, then." he took a breath and sighed. "Then I would have had more time, she would have fallen in love with me."

"No." I shook my head. "I think true love is instant. When she was with you she was thinking of him. It wasn't your name she cried every night in her dreams."

"In her nightmares." he corrected.

I rolled my eyes. "Same difference. The thing is, she wasn't thinking of you. If I broke up with Seth and he started hanging out with you, you wouldn't think he had fallen in love with you now would you?"

He glared at me. "That's different and you know it."

I smiled at him and giggled. "Yeah, I know."

He huffed then a wolf cried in the distance. Sam.

"I have to go on watch." he mumbled.

"It's probably better for you to let out some steam." I nodded to myself.

"Yeah I guess."

"Try not to break you hand, and tell Seth I'll see him soon, and that I miss him."

Jacob gagged at the sweetness of my voice. "Fine." he grumbled then ran into the trees. I hoped I had made my point, but somewhere inside of me, I knew I hadn't.


End file.
